Jeremy and Hamlet: A Chronicle of Certain Incidents in the Lives of a Boy, a Dog, and a Country TownWalpole, Hugh
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Jeremy and Hamlet: A Chronicle of Certain Incidents in the Lives of a Boy, a Dog, and a Country Town
Walpole, Hugh
Boys -- Fiction; Dogs -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
It was not until luncheon on the second day that he began to realize
what was happening. Over the chops he said something in his well-known
definite authoritative manner about “the Church not standing it, and the
sooner those infidels in Africa realized it the better.”
“Bosh!” said Uncle Percy. “Bosh!”
“My dear Percy . . .” began Mr. Cole.
“Don’t ‘dear Percy’ me,” came from the other end of the table. “I say
it’s bosh! What do you know of Africa or of the Church for the matter of
that? You’ve never been outside this piffling little town for twenty
years and wouldn’t have noticed anything if you had. That’s the worst of
you miserable parsons—never seeing anything of life or the world, and
then laying down the law as though you were God Almighty. It fair makes
me sick! But you were always like that, Herbert. Even as a boy you’d
hide behind some woman’s skirts and then lay claim to someone else’s
actions. Don’t you talk about Africa, Herbert. You know nothing about it
whatever. Here, Helen, my girl, pass up the potatoes!”
Had a large iron thunderbolt crashed through the ceiling and broken the
room to pieces consternation could not have been more general. Mr. Cole
at first simply did not believe the evidence of his ears, then as it
slowly dawned upon him that his brother had really said these things,
and before a mixed company (Emily was at that moment handing round the
cabbage), a dull pink flush stole slowly over his cheeks and ended in
fiery crimson at the tips of his ears.
Mrs. Cole and Amy were, of course, devastated, but dreadful was the
effect upon the children. Three pairs of eyes turned instantly towards
Mr. Cole and then hurriedly withdrew. Mary attacked once again the bone
of her chop, already sufficiently cleaned. Helen gazed at her uncle, her
eyes full of a lovely investigating interest. Jeremy stared at the
tablecloth. He himself could not at once realize what had occurred. He
had been accustomed for so long now to hear his father speak with
authority upon every conceivable topic and remain uncontradicted. Even
when visitors came—and they were so often curates—his opinions were
generally confirmed with a “Quite so,” or “Is that so indeed?” or “Yes,
yes; quite.” His first interest now was to see how his father would
reply to this attack. They all waited.
Mr. Cole feebly smiled.
“Tee. Tee. Violent as ever, Percy. I dare say you’re correct. Of course,
I never was in Africa.”
Capitulation! Complete capitulation! Jeremy’s cheeks burnt hot with
family shame. Was nobody going to stand up to the attack? Were they to
allow it to pass like that? They were apparently. The subject was
changed. Bread-and-butter pudding arrived. The world went on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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