Jerome, A Poor Man: A NovelFreeman, Mary Eleanor Wilkins
General
Jerome, A Poor Man: A Novel
Freeman, Mary Eleanor Wilkins
New England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The next day, when he carried some finished shoes to Dale, he bought
a few old medical books, the remnant of a departed doctor's library,
which had been stowed away for years in a dusty corner of the great
country store. This same store included in its stock such
heterogeneous objects, so utterly irrelevant to one another and at
such tangents of connection, that it seemed sometimes like a very
mad-house of trade.
It was of this store that the story was told for miles around how one
day Lawyer Means, having driven over with Colonel Lamson from Upham
Corners, made a bet with him that he could not ask for anything not
included in its stock of trade; and the Colonel had immediately gone
in and asked for a skeleton; for he thought that he was thereby sure
of winning his bet, and of putting to confusion his friend and the
storekeeper. The latter, however, who was not the Bill Dickey of this
time, but an unkempt and shrewd old man of an earlier date, had
conferred with his own recollection for a minute, and asked,
reflectively, of his clerk, "Lemme see, we've got a skeleton
somewheres about, 'ain't we, Eph?" And had finally unearthed--not
adjacent to the old doctor's medical books, for that would have been
to much method in madness, but in some far-removed nook--a ghastly
box, containing a reasonably complete little skeleton. Then was the
laugh all on Colonel Jack Lamson, who had his bet to pay, and was put
to hard shifts to avoid making his grewsome purchase, the article
being offered exceedingly cheap on account of its unsalable
properties.
"It's been here a matter of twenty-five year, ever sence the old
doctor died. Them books, an' that, was cleaned out of his office, an'
brought over here," the old storekeeper had said. "Let ye have it
cheap, Colonel; call it a shillin'."
"Guess I won't take it to-day."
"Call it a sixpence."
"What in thunder do you suppose I want a skeleton for?" asked the
Colonel, striding out, while the storekeeper called after him, with
such a relish of his own wit that it set all the loafers to laughing
and made them remember it:
"Guess ye'd find out if ye didn't have one, Colonel; an' I guess,
sence natur's gin ye all the one she's ever goin' to, ye'll never
have a chance to git another as cheap as this."
That same little skeleton was yet for sale when Jerome purchased his
medical books at the price of waste-paper, and might possibly have
been thrown into the bargain had he wished to study anatomy.
Jerome sought only to gain an extension of any old wife's knowledge
of healing roots and herbs and the treatment of simple and common
maladies. Surgery he did not meddle with, until one night, about a
year later, when Jake Noyes, Doctor Prescott's man, came over
secretly with a little whimpering dog in his arms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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