Jerome, A Poor Man: A NovelFreeman, Mary Eleanor Wilkins
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Jerome, A Poor Man: A Novel
Freeman, Mary Eleanor Wilkins
New England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Jerome looked at it all, and it had a new meaning for him. The outer
world is always tinctured more or less to the sight by one's mental
states; but who can say, when it comes to outlooks from the keenest
stresses of spirit, how impalpable the boundary-lines between
beholder and object may grow? Who knows if a rose does not really
cease to be, in its own sense, to a soul in an extremity of joy or
grief?
Whatever it might be for others, the spring wood was not to-day what
it had ever been before to Jerome. All its shining, and sweetening,
and growing were so forced into accord with himself that the whole
wood took, as it were, the motion of his own soul. Jerome looked at a
fine young poplar-tree, and saw not a tree but a maid, revealing with
innocent helplessness her white body through her skirts of
transparent green. The branches flung out towards him like a maiden's
arms, with shy intent of caresses. Every little flower upon which his
idle gaze fell was no flower, but an eye of love--a bird called to
his mate with the call of his own heart. Every sight, and sound, and
sweetness of the wood wooed and tempted him, with the reflex motion
of his own new ardor of love and passion. He had not gone to meeting
lest he see Lucina Merritt again, and wished to drive her image from
his mind, and here he was peopling his solitude with symbols of her
which were bolder than she, and made his hunger worse to bear.
A childlike wonder was over him at the whole. "Why haven't I ever
felt this way before?" he thought. He recalled all the young men he
knew who had married during the last few years, and thought how they
must have felt as he felt now, and he had no conception of it. He had
been secretly rather proud that he had not encumbered himself with a
wife and children, but had given his best strength to less selfish
loves. He remembered his scorn of the school-master and his adoring
girls, and realized that his scorn had been due, as scorn largely is,
to ignorance. Instead of contempt, a fierce pity seized him for all
who had given way to this great need of love, and yet he felt strange
indignation and shame that he himself had come into the common lot.
"It is no use; I can't," he said, quite out loud, and set a hard face
against all the soft lights and shadows which moved upon him with the
motion of his own desires.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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