I murmured something--I did not know what--and she clasped my hand;
the warm pressure of her fingers upon mine thrilled my pulses. The
next minute I was alone. I strove to concentrate my thoughts upon
certain matters of business which claimed my attention, but I found it
impossible to do so. I could not dispossess myself of the image of
Frances Glaive. In an idle humour I wrote her name, Frances Glaive,
over and over again; if I had been a boy, with all a boy's enthusiasm,
instead of a man hardened and embittered by cruel experience, I could
not have behaved more in accordance with established precedent. I saw
Frances Glaive sitting in the vacant chair at my table; I heard her
sweet voice; I gazed upon her face as it lay, insensible and
beautiful, before me. 'Be my friend,' she had said. I could serve her;
it was in my power to make her happy. I took out my bank-book and the
private ledger in which I kept the record of my worldly progress; I
was rich enough to pay all Mr. Glaive's liabilities, and still have a
considerable sum left; but I need not pay them in full. I knew that I
could easily settle with his creditors for a trifle over the value of
his estate. I did not value money, and yet I decided upon nothing; I
could not think calmly upon the matter; I thought only of Frances
Glaive, knowing full well that she, by a word, by a look, by a smile,
could make me do any wild or extravagant thing against all reason and
conviction. I craved to see her again, and so strong was this craving
that in the evening I found myself walking in the direction of Mr.
Glaive's house. I can recall the manner of that walk; I can recall
how, governed by an impulse stronger than reason, I still was
conscious of a curious mental conflict which was being waged within
me, independent of my own will as it seemed, and the most powerful
forces of which strove to pull me back, while I was really walking
along without hesitation. I _did_ hesitate when I stood before Mr.
Glaive's house, but only for a very few moments. Frances Glaive came
into the passage to receive me.
'I thought you would come,' she said, her face lighting up.
'And you are glad?' I could not help asking.
'Very, very glad. Papa is in the study; he is dreadfully weak and ill,
and I have been counting the minutes. May I tell him that I have
brought him a friend?'
'Yes,' I answered; 'a friend of yours.'
All this while she had not relinquished my hand; and I too willingly
retained hers in mine. Well, well--at that time I would have thought
no price too heavy to pay for such precious moments.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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