All our hopes of a more harmonious feeling between him and Jessie were
utterly shattered, and my birthday, instead of being the commencement
of a brighter and better era in our home relations, inaugurated an era
of much unhappiness and discomfort. In the most unfortunate, and yet,
as it seemed to me, in the most natural way, we were placed in a
painfully-delicate position of antagonism. Who was to blame for this?
I found the answer to this question without difficulty. Who but uncle
Bryan was to blame? The part which Jessie had taken in the
conversations between them was dictated by the best of feelings--was
good and tender--and I admired her, not only for her courage, but for
the affection she had displayed towards him, and for her efforts to
wean him from his moroseness and infidelity. That she had failed was
no fault of hers. The fault lay entirely in himself, and in his
insensibility to softening influences. That, if she had succeeded, the
result would have been both good and beautiful, was incontrovertible.
I argued the matter very closely in my mind, for, notwithstanding my
love for Jessie, I was anxious not to do uncle Bryan an injustice, and
I could come but to one conclusion. What home could be happy with a
master who possessed such a nature as his? He was like a dark shadow
moving among us, and turning our joy into gloom.
These were partly the result of my reflections. Other considerations
also arose. We were all bound to one another by ties of affection.
That was a certainty, in the first blush of my reflections; but
afterwards a doubt occurred to my mind. By what tie of affection was
Jessie bound to uncle Bryan? He himself, when he told my mother and me
the story of his life, had confessed it: by none. The charge of Jessie
had almost been forced upon him, and his sense of duty had compelled
him to accept it. It was not humanity that had impelled him to give
Jessie a home. And if, after she came among us, she had failed to win
his love, it was because his heart was hard and cold, and incapable of
tenderness. I recalled a hundred little ways in which she had wooed
him, and every one of them was an argument against him. Then I thought
of her helpless dependent position, and my love for her and my anger
against him grew stronger. That he was hard to her was an additional
reason why I should show her openly, and without false weakness, that
in me she had a champion and a friend who would be true to her until
death. Even if I did not love her, I argued, this championship of one
who was cast as a stranger amongst us would have been demanded of my
manliness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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