'Why not? I am not wise, I know, and I am very wilful, and passionate,
and unreasonable.' She resolutely moved a step from my mother, who was
approaching her tenderly. 'But I have sense enough to think of my
future, and I do not see what I could do better. I have been acting
for a long time at Miss West's; we have often had little private
performances there--Chris has seen them.' There was grief, but no
reproach, in my mother's eyes as she looked at me. 'When I first
commenced to act, I did it purely out of fun, and I had no serious
intention of taking to the stage; but when I grew so unhappy here as
to know that I was bringing discord among those who loved each other,
and to whom I was in a certain sense a stranger, and when day after
day the feeling grew stronger that I was not welcome in this house, I
thought of what was before me in the future. It must be very sweet, I
think, to be dependent upon those who love you; it is very bitter, I
know, to be dependent upon those who hate you.'
'Stop!' cried uncle Bryan, in an agitated tone. 'I say nothing as to
whether you are right or wrong in your construction of the feelings
entertained towards you here. You are a woman in your ideas, although
almost a child in years, and you have evidently settled with yourself
that you will not be led----'
'Who is to lead me?' said Jessie, pale and trembling. 'I have asked to
be led, and _you_ know the result. Not quite out of hard-heartedness,
but with some shadow of good feeling--though perhaps you will not give
me credit for being capable of anything of the sort--I have asked to
be shown what is right and what is wrong; and if I, somewhat wilfully,
preferred to be shown by example and not by words, was I so very much
to blame, after all?'
'You are clever enough,' he said, 'to twist things into the shape you
like best----'
'No,' she exclaimed, interrupting him again; 'be just. You know what I
refer to, and you know I have spoken exactly the truth. Do not say I
have misrepresented it.'
'I beg your pardon,' he said, in a manly tone, and with a frankness
which compelled admiration. I was wrong. You have stated exactly the
truth, and in a truthful way. But if you really wished to be taught,
what better teacher could you have than the one before you?'--with a
motion of his hand towards my mother--'if you had doubts, where could
you find a better counsellor?'
'You are master,' said Jessie, firmly and gently; 'you gave me shelter
and protection. Chris reminded me of that a little while ago when we
were speaking of you, and I was angry with him for it--unreasonably
angry. It is not to be wondered at that I should look to you for
counsel.'
'If there were two roads before you,' he said, 'one, dark and bleak
and bare'--he touched his breast'--the other, fair and bright and
sweetened by most unselfish tenderness'--he laid his hand upon the
hand of my mother--'which would you choose?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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