word to give her pain. Was not the inscription, 'To Chris, with
Jessie's love,' sufficient? I decided that it was, and I resolutely
refused to harbour the words of Mr. Glover which came to my mind, to
the effect that Jessie and I had been brought up as brother and
sister, and that it was natural we should be fond of each other in
that way. How, thought I, could I ever have been so mad as to
entertain a doubt of Jessie? She was better than I, cleverer than I,
and she saw faults in me which she wished to correct, and she was also
naturally hurt at my suspicions of her. Well, I would never again
suspect her; from this moment I would have the fullest faith in her
goodness, her purity, her love. It was in this mood that I presented
myself at Mr. Rackstraw's office, somewhat doubtful of the manner in
which Jessie would receive me, but resolved to show her in every
possible way how truly I loved her and what faith I had in her. Mr.
Glover was there of course, and we all three walked together from the
office. That I abased myself before him is true, and it is quite as
true, notwithstanding the resolution I had formed, that I despised
myself for so doing. Jessie looked at me thoughtfully, and seemed to
be considering within herself whether she approved of my new mood. For
this reason Mr. Glover found her a somewhat inattentive listener to
his confidential utterances, the intervals between which he improved
by talking to and at me on his pet theme--his character and good name.
Before we had walked a mile, Jessie proposed that she and I should
take an ..omnibus home, as she was tired, and Mr. Glover left us. On
our way she told me that Mr. Rackstraw had offered her an engagement
on the stage. Did she intend to accept it? I asked; and she said that
she had deferred her answer until after her birthday.
'I wish with all my heart,' I said, that you were not going on the
stage; not that there is any harm in it, Jessie, nor that there could
be harm in anything you do, but because it seems as if it will take
you away from us.'
'Do you think,' was the reply, 'that a woman has not an ambition as
well as a man? If I have a talent--and I really think I have,
Chris--why should I not turn it to good account? Besides, I have my
plans. I owe money, Chris.'
To Mr. Rackstraw for your lessons. Well, I can pay that, Jessie. All
that I have is yours, and you don't know how rich I am growing.'
'You are too good to me, Chris,' she said, giving me her hand, which I
took and held close in mine beneath her mantle; in that moment all my
trouble vanished, and a feeling of ineffable delight brought peace to
my heart once more. Will nothing cure you?'
'Nothing will ever cure me of loving you,' I said, in a glad whisper.
'You would not wish that.'
She turned the subject.
'I owe other money as well. I owe a great deal to uncle Bryan; he is
poor, and I should like to pay him. But we'll not talk of this any
more just now, Chris; wait till my birthday comes.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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