her. She brought sunshine into this house, which was gloomy enough
without her. She had no mother, no father, no friends, and you were
her only protector. How have you fulfilled your duty towards her?
Shall I answer for you? You have behaved like a tyrant, in whom all
human feeling was deadened. When she strove to love you, you compelled
her, by harsh words and cold looks and repellent acts, to hate you.
She has good cause for her feelings towards you now, for you did your
best to make every hour and every day of her life a misery to her. She
told me herself that she was only happy out of the house; so that you
did your work well. If you saw faults in her which no one else saw,
and which had their birth in your own hard unfeeling nature, what
right had you to torture her in the way you did? She was but a child,
and you are an old man. Why could you not have dealt tenderly and
gently by her? Ask my mother--ask Miss West--ask any of her
friends--if there is anything in her character that might not be
turned to good account? But you could not see it. Lightheartedness and
an innocent flow of spirits are crimes in your eyes. You made her pay
bitterly for the shelter you gave her; you have shown the generosity
of your nature in its fullest light by making her say, after a long
experience of you, that she would starve rather than enter your house
again. When you told us the story of your life, you said you wished me
to hear it because I might learn something from it. I have learnt
something--but not the lesson you wished me to learn. I have learnt
that such a life as yours, such a nature as yours, brings desolation
upon every life and nature within its influence, and that it would be
a happier fate for me to drop down dead this minute than live as you
have lived, a torture to all around you.'
'Chris, Chris!' implored my mother, with streaming eyes, and with a
gesture of entreaty towards uncle Bryan, who sat before me now, with
his head bowed upon his hands. Remember, my dear child, remember!'
'Remember what, mother?' I cried pitilessly. 'That he has robbed me of
all that can make life dear to me--of all that _is_ dear to me? You
should ask me rather to forget when you point to him, whom I would
teach a different lesson if he were not an old man, with one foot in
the grave. Shall I remember that he has no belief in goodness here or
hereafter--that he believes neither in God nor man? Will such
remembrances as these plead in his favour? One thing I will and do
remember--that I owe him money for the food he has given me and you.
But I will pay him to the last farthing, so that nothing may remain
between us but what I owe him for having brought misery into my life.
That is a debt that can never be wiped out. And Jessie will pay him
also; she told me she would. But for that resolve she would not, for a
long time past, have eaten a meal at his expense. Are these the things
you wish me to remember?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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