We reached Hertford by easy stages. Josey was quite right in insisting
that I should take Florry with me. I soon learnt that I could not have
done without some one, and I found Florry to be so quietly and
unobtrusively useful that I grew very fond of the little maid. I took
lodgings in a pleasant suburb, from the windows of which we could see
the river Lea, and the barges gliding indolently along. Florry said it
was heavenly. My mother bore the journey well, and was no worse at the
end than when we started. I was very thankful for that, for I feared
she might not be strong enough to bear it; but we were very careful of
her, and if she had been my sister Florry could not have been more
attentive and affectionate. But my mother knew no one, and saw only
the pictures and figures which her fevered imagination conjured up. I
selected for her bedroom a large room on the first floor, and placed
her bed so that she could see the river from it. I fixed my table for
work so that when she opened her eyes, and looked towards the river,
she could see me also. I had been fortunate enough to obtain
sufficient work to last me for three or four weeks, and I was sure of
more to follow.
On the very first day I observed what I thought was a favourable
change in my mother. Awaking from a restless sleep she opened her
eyes, and saw a white sail passing along the river; she watched it
quietly until it was out of sight, and then closed her eyes and slept
again, but more peacefully than before. She did not seem to see me,
although I turned my face to her and smiled. It was soon evident that
she took pleasure in the prospect of the river, for before two days
had passed I observed her lie and watch it restfully. It appeared to
act like a charm upon her, bringing peace to her troubled heart in
some strange way. In London, during her illness, scarcely an hour had
passed, day and night, without her rest being broken by sobs; but here
in Hertford, after she grew accustomed to the sight of the river, her
days were quiet and peaceful, and it was only in the night that she
was disturbed. During the first week I left her but twice; once to go
to the house in which I was born, and once to visit the old churchyard
in which my father was buried. The house was the same as I remembered
it, and the churchyard had a few new gravestones in it; there was no
other change. All my childish experiences came vividly to my mind, and
I should scarcely have been surprised, as I peeped through the
parlour-window, where I used to sit in my low armchair with my
grandmother, listening to her monotonous heavy breathing, to see her
sitting in state, in her silk dress, with her large fat hands folded
in her lap! I _did_ see a woman who reminded me of Jane Painter, our
servant, and I crossed the road quickly and walked away from her. In
the churchyard, I went to my father's grave, and then to the grave of
Snaggletooth's little daughter. I found it quite easily, but the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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