I was in no humour for sleep, having had some rest during the day, and
I had told Florry that I would sit up with my mother until the
morning. I placed the letter I had been reading in my desk, and then,
arranging the screen in such a manner that the light by which I worked
should not fall upon my mother's face, and also in such a manner that
when she opened her eyes they must rest upon me, I sat at my table and
worked and thought. My work was noiseless, and I could do it without
disturbing the stillness. I was thankful for that. I do not know in
what way it came into my mind that there are numberless small things
in life which we ought to be grateful for, but the thought came.
Presently, while my hand and eyes were busy on delicate manipulations
in the wood, my mind reverted to uncle Bryan and Jessie, and the
strange, strange letter I had read. Could Jessie ever forgive her
father? Never, I thought. The unkindnesses inflicted upon herself she
might have been eager to forgive when she made the discovery that she
had a father living, but the wrong inflicted upon her mother was past
forgiveness. Truly, the dead wife had punished the living husband with
a cunning hand. But it was a just blow that she had struck. She had
shown no vindictiveness; for had he behaved kindly to the girl to whom
he had given the shelter of his home, Jessie would never have been
made acquainted with her mother's wrongs. Yes, it was just, but it was
terrible.
Terrible indeed. To find a father only to hate him. To find a father,
and in the discovery to gain the knowledge that his conduct to her
mother might have brought lasting shame and disgrace upon her own good
name.
And he? How did he feel it? The words he addressed to me in his letter
to my mother were very clear in my mind. Too late I see my folly and
my crime. Many things that Christopher said to me were true. I humbly
ask his forgiveness, and I humbly pray that the happiness he said I
did my best to destroy may yet fall to his lot. If he will picture me,
an old man with a bleeding heart, into whose life but few rays of
sunshine have passed, pleading to him, he may soften towards me.
Perhaps he may believe that I loved him; if he does believe it, he
will believe the truth.'
I did believe it; I felt that it was true. I asked myself whether all
the fault was his, whether he was entirely to blame because it was not
in his nature to show love in its sweetest way. I recalled the words
he had used when he described to me and my mother the home in which he
spent his childhood's days. I raised up a picture of his mother, a
weak-minded woman, ruled as with a rod of iron by her husband, ruled
even in her affections by a man whom his own son could not respect,
knowing him to be a hypocrite. The son must have learned bad lessons
in such a home. Was it not to the son's credit that he refused to be
moulded by such influences? But if the son had had such a mother as
mine----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account