'What I am about to tell you ought to have been told before; but
probably no better time than this could be chosen. By the time I have
finished, you will perhaps understand my motive for saying so; but
whether you do or not, it is due to you that I should clear away some
part of the mystery which hangs around Jessie.'
Although I was burning with curiosity, I rose to leave the room,
thinking from his manner that what he was about to say was intended
only for my mother's ears.
'Nay, Chris,' he said, you can stay. 'You are almost a man, as your
mother says, and you may learn something from my words. I am about to
read some pages in my life.'
He turned from us, so that we could not see his face; and full five
minutes elapsed before he spoke. I was awaiting to hear with so much
eagerness what he had to tell, that the five minutes seemed an hour.
With his face still averted, he addressed my mother.
'Emma, you know the house in which I was born?'
'Yes, Bryan.'
'And you knew my family--my father and mother?'
'Yes.'
'They are not alive?'
I could scarcely restrain an exclamation of surprise at such a
question from the lips of a son concerning his parents. My mother's
tone was soft and pitiful as she replied,
'They have been dead many years, Bryan. They died within a year of my
marriage with your brother.'
'During the time you and my brother courted, and afterwards indeed, my
name must have been occasionally mentioned.'
'It was, Bryan.'
'In what terms?'
He paused for a reply, but my mother held her tongue.
'Be frank and candid with me, Emma; it will not hurt me. What you
heard was not to my credit?'
He was determined that the subject should not be evaded; and my mother
was wise enough not to thwart him.
'It was said that you had a violent temper.'
'It was doubtless true; but,' said uncle Bryan somewhat grimly, 'time
must have softened it. No one now can accuse me justly--if there is
such a thing as justice in the world--of showing violence, in the
ordinary meaning of the word.'
'I can bear witness to that, Bryan.'
'Go on; there was more.'
'And that it was impossible to agree with you, or your opinions.'
'My opinions! That is one of the things I wanted to arrive at.
Remember, Emma, that after I left home, I held no communication with
my parents; that I was as one dead to them. What was said of my
opinions? Nay, nay; you hurt me more by your silence than you can
possibly do by anything you can say.'
'I heard that, as a boy, you associated yourself with a society of
Freethinkers, who openly boasted of their infidelity.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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