Jim MortimerBell, R. S. Warren (Robert Stanley Warren)
General
Jim Mortimer
Bell, R. S. Warren (Robert Stanley Warren)
London (England) -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction
"I always talk to these people, so, as I was passing into the house, I
said: ’Who guessed it?’ They turned to me and began talking all at
once, and I gathered from their observations that the fat woman’s little
girl was down with what our bearded friend at Taplow’s had diagnosed as
small-pox. It appeared that he had made a report to the Medical Officer
of Health for this district, and that the hospital people’s ambulance
was momentarily expected. The fat woman vehemently declared that our
bearded friend was wrong. ’What makes you think it isn’t small-pox?’ I
said. ’Why, doctor,’ says she, ’my Annie ain’t been sick, eats ’earty,
and sleeps sound, and is well in ’erself. ’E only went by the spots.’
’Well,’ I said, ’they’ll tell you at the hospital whether it’s small-pox
or not.’ But at that she began painting the air blue with her language,
and swore no ambulance men should touch the kid. After a time she asked
me to look at the child, but I explained that it was Dr Taplow’s case,
and nothing to do with me. She then asked whether a lady couldn’t take
two doctors’ opinions on a case, and I replied that a lady certainly
could. ’Well, then,’ says she, ’why shouldn’t a pore woman like me?’ I
recognised the justice of this, and, after I’d been to my case, I took a
look at the child. I saw at once it wasn’t small-pox----"
"The chicken variety?" put in Koko.
"Not even that--simply blood out of order. I told her the child wanted
some medicine and more fresh air. As luck had it, the Medical
Officer--old Jackson--awfully nice chap--being scared by the report,
came with the ambulance himself, and corroborated my verdict. I had
cleared off by then, but the next time I went to Pine Court I found
myself famous, and ever since they’ve been coming to me instead of to
the bearded pard."
"Good," said Koko. "Have you caught him napping again?"
"Curiously enough, I have. He told a woman in Mount Street that her
husband--a plumber--was suffering from heart disease. His feet were
swollen, and he was pretty bad all over. However, she wasn’t satisfied,
and came to me, and I found the fellow really had a congested liver. I
dosed him with calomel, and he was running up and down ladders again in
a few days."
"That was another ad.," said Koko.
"It was," said Jim. "Have another two-penn’orth?"
Koko nodded, and Jim was reaching for the mislabled bottle, when a
quaint metal Chinaman, that stood in the middle of the mantelpiece, fell
with a crash on to his face.
"Hullo!" cried Koko, much mystified, for neither he nor Jim had touched
the ornament.
Jim laughed. "That’s all right--shows there’s somebody at the front
door. You see there’s a bell, but my callers don’t always use it. Some
of them like to walk in, as the door opens when you turn the handle.
I’ve fixed up an arrangement of string, therefore, which causes that old
geezer to fall down when the front door is opened. Quite simple. I’ll
show you the dodge in a minute."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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