Boys -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Imagination -- Fiction
The rest of the daylight slipped away very quickly, and the room was
full of shadows almost before he knew it. Then came the darkness.
Outside, the wind rose and fell fitfully, booming in the chimney with
hollow music, and sighing round the walls of the house. A few stars
peeped between the branches of the elms, but masses of cloud hid most of
the sky, and the air felt heavy with coming rain.
He lay down on the bed and waited. At the least sound he started,
thinking it might be the call from the governess. But the few sounds he
did hear always resolved themselves into the moaning of the wind, and no
voice came. With his eyes on the open window, trying to pierce the gloom
and find the stars, he lay motionless for hours, while the night wore on
and the shadows deepened.
And during those long hours of darkness and silence he was conscious
that a change was going on within him. Name it he could not, but
somehow it made him feel that living people like himself were standing
near, trying to speak, beckoning, anxious to bring him back into their
own particular world. The darkness was so great that he could see only
the square outline of the open window, but he felt sure that any sudden
flash of light would have revealed a group of persons round his bed with
arms outstretched, trying to reach him. The emotion they roused in him
was not fear, for he felt sure they were kind, and eager only to help
him; and the more he realised their presence, the less he thought about
the governess who had been doing so much to make his escape possible.
Then, too, voices began to sound somewhere in the air, but he could not
tell whether they were actually in the room, or outside in the night, or
only within himself--in his own head:--strange, faint voices,
whispering, laughing, shouting, crying; fragments of stories, rhymes,
riddles, odd names of people and places jostled one another with varying
degrees of clearness, now loud, now soft, till he wondered what it all
meant, and longed for the light to come.
But besides all this, something else, too, was abroad that
night--something he could not name or even think about without shaking
with terror down at the very roots of his being. And when he thought of
this, his heart called loudly for the governess, and the people hidden
in the shadows of the room seemed quite useless and unable to help.
Thus he hovered between the two worlds and the two memories, phantoms
and realities shifting and changing places every few minutes.
A little light would have saved him much suffering. If only the moon
were up! Moonlight would have made all the difference. Even a moon half
hidden and misty would have put the shadows farther away from him.
"Dear old misty moon!" he cried half aloud to himself upon the bed, "why
aren't you here to-night? My last night!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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