The passionate starved heart of her demanded him fully, or not at all.
Once in pity he had given her his name; once in charity he had offered
to take her and her child, and to give them the protection that was
their right; but she would not have that. Her tragedy was that she was
bound to the man whom she loved with all her heart and soul; but she
must know that what he might say to her, in this better time, was not a
matter of mere words, but a thing of the heart, before ever she
stretched out glad hands to meet his. She must be certain of
that--absolutely certain.
Again--the child. She yearned for that; passionately wanted her baby.
Almost she hated the man for a moment, in a laughing, whimsical way,
because he had tried to reach her like this; yet was glad to think now,
as she peered in through the doorway, that the child was so naturally in
the arms of the man. So she listened with her starved heart beating for
them both.
"You don't seem to understand, little Moira, what you've done for me--or
what I am--through you. Years ago you wove fairy tales for me--peopled
the great world for me with beings other than those my dull eyes could
see. Had I but known it, all that was best in me came from you; only I
did not understand. I love you, Moira----Can you hear me, dear woman,
out in the darkness"--(he could not know how near to him she
stood!)--"and will you love me a little, in pity for me?"
She drew away from the door, and covered her face with her hands; then
bent again a moment later, to listen to the murmuring voice within.
"I want to make up to you for all the wrong I've done you, dear," he
went on. "For it was I who did the deepest wrong of all, in that I drove
you away from me; I can never atone for that. I asked you if there was
no man in all the world you loved--shameful beast that I was!--and still
did not understand, when you said there was. Don't let me lose you now;
there is no life for me without you!"
She turned away and stole down the stairs. She could not trust herself
yet to meet him; she wanted to be alone. For now that this thing had
happened for which she had prayed and longed and hoped, she was fearful
of it; more than that, she wanted to hold it from her for a time the
better to grasp it afterwards. She sobbed and laughed like a mad thing
as she went; whispered to herself, over and over again, all that he had
said; saw, over and over again, that picture in the firelight of the man
with the child in his arms.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account