“Yes, didn’t you see it in the Indian compartment? They wanted to show
off the magnificent trappings she got from the Rajah, and they thought
of getting a real live elephant, which would have been no end of trouble
amid all those precious vases. But I happened to know of a stuffed
elephant at a show down here in Essex, so I entered into correspondence
with Buckingham Palace and loaned the beast for the season—buying him
up first, of course—and sent him up in my caravan that had to be roused
from its winter sleep and completely unpacked. Yes, trouble enough! But
talk of the Koh-i-noor, that elephant’ll be worth his weight in gold
when he comes back—Queen Victoria’s elephant as visited by the nobility
and gentry of the world. I annex the Great Exhibition. See!”
“I wish I’d noticed him,” said Will wistfully. “I only saw her statue in
zinc, seven yards high. But there’s so much to see—machinery and jewels
and Mexican figures, it makes your head ache, and I couldn’t even get a
look at that Koh-i-noor, such a crush round it. But did you see the
Preserved Pig?”
The Showman’s eyes twinkled. “Mr. Woods, d’ye mean?”
“Mr. Woods?”
“The Chancellor of the Exchequer. Haven’t you noticed how they’ve left
off abusing the income tax now they’ve got the show to talk about? By
Jove,” he chuckled, “what a haul for the Exchequer if they bring the
Crystal Palace under the window tax!”
“No, no! Best Berkshire breed. The real marvel of the Exhibition! None
o’ your stuffed creatures, but a natural pig cured whole. Weighs three
and a half hundredweight; five foot and a half from tail to snout. ’Twas
done by a provision merchant in Dublin—Smith—I took note of the name.”
“That name will be immortal,” said Mr. Flippance gravely.
“Yes, and there was a monster pigeon-pie!” said Will with the same
unsuspicious enthusiasm.
The church clock, striking four at this point, made the Showman bound
frantically to his doorway. “Not done yet, you snails and sluts! When am
I to get these bills to the tent? Do you realize we open to-night?
You’ll ruin the show.”
“I’ll take them,” volunteered Will. “My road lays by the field.”
“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” Tony thrust the heavy roll
effusively into Will’s hands. “Ask for my daughter—she’ll help you to
stick ’em up on the bill-boards.”
“Your daughter?” murmured Will. He would have resented his sudden
reduction to a bill-poster but for the romantic vision of the Bohemian
petticoat.
“I can’t pull the strings on both sides of the stage at once, can I? Not
to mention the women’s and boys’ voices, and the piping Gaffers. Lord,
she’s got a head on her, has Polly. And pops in and out to play the
piano too.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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