And now would the famous singer oblige with the “Buy a Broom Polka”?
Alas, he did not know it, with or without “concinnity”! But young Ravens
might know it, he who was as full of tunes as a dog of fleas, and with
his perpetual flow of melody made bread and tea like harvest suppers,
and shearing days as jolly as Chrissimus. But where was this musical
box? Alas! he had “gone furrin,” being somewhere beyond Southend. But
master expected him back for the shearing; he was a rolling stone, was
Ravens, but he usually rolled back this time o’ year. No, not rolled
with liquor, nor yet like the sheep that broke its arm. Had it been a
fat sheep, he would have butchered it, but as it was only store he had
set the arm himself. No, he had no need of a vet. for that, like the
degenerate young shepherds nowadays; he wouldn’t be beholden to
cattle-doctors, not he, keeping for ever o’ salts and gentians and
bottles of lotion in his hut, although “suspicioning shab”—it might
even be rot from the river-marsh—in one of the sheep which he had just
been examining for fly, he had taken the opportunity to ask Jinny to
send round Elijah Skindle. ’Tis a long talk that has no turning, and
Will, when the narrative thus came, by a wide detour, back to Jinny,
ceased fidgeting with the horn, and demanded what she had said to that.
It transpired that she had refused to order Elijah, despite that Mrs.
Flynt had recommended him as cheaper, alleging, drat her, that Jorrow
was the better man. Will, curiously forgetting Mr. Flippance and his
horse, concurred in the view that carriers cannot be choosers. He also
started another current of indignation against carriers getting other
folks to fetch and carry for them. Would the hard-working shepherd, who
was too easily put upon, kindly not encourage the girl in future to
shirk her job?
Touched by the sense of his own magnanimity and the sixpence slipped
into his palm, the good shepherd promised to repress his obligingness in
the interests of the higher ethics, and Will, bidding him farewell,
slipped behind the row of stag-headed poplars opposite the gate of Frog
Farm, and strove—before entering the house—to adjust his horn down his
trousers and up his back. It was no easy process with such a
“protracted” object: fortunately it was thin, save at the swelling end,
but by keeping this bulge below, he could avoid humping his back. To
walk with such a ramrod up it and adown one leg would, however, have
taxed the talents of the most graceful damsel training for deportment.
He hobbled painfully to the rear of the farmhouse, designing to hide the
horn before entering, but lo! there was his mother filling the food-pot
of his neglected ferrets.
“Oh, my poor Will!” she exclaimed. “I told your father you’d have
rheumatics—sitting in chapel in your damp clothes.” She tried to take
him pitifully in her arms but he limped away, fearing she would imagine
his backbone had come outside.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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