That gloves were unknown to the ancient Hebrews, Will could hardly bring
himself to believe, even by hours of searching, especially after coming
upon a Fashion Catalogue for Ladies, which showed a surprising wardrobe.
Bonnets they had, it would appear, and headbands and tablets and
changeable suits of apparel, and mantles and wimples and crisping pins
and fine linen and hoods and vails, and mufflers and girdles and
stomachers: as for their jewel-cases, they seemed stuffed not only with
rings and ear-rings and charms and bracelets and moony tires, but
likewise with jewels that dangled at the nose or tinkled at the feet.
How then should so elegant a world have dispensed with gloves? But
so—after scouring the sacred Book from Genesis to Revelation—he must
finally fain believe. Not a single patriarch, priest, satrap, shepherd,
physician, apostle, publican, or sinner had ever sported gloves, and the
Queen of Sheba fared no better in this respect than the Witch of Endor.
Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed with even one of these. The
Pharisees, it would appear, covered their foreheads with
phylacteries—whatever these might be—but left their hands bare. And
yet, Will thought wistfully, reading so early in the sacred Book how
Rebekah “put the skins of the kids of the goats upon Jacob’s hands,”
they might surely in all those centuries have gone on to the idea of
gloves, especially for winter wear. But no, thousands of years after
Rebekah, the knuckles of Dives were apparently as raw as those of
Lazarus. Oh, why had he not betted something Biblical—a muffler now
would have suited either sex: even handkerchiefs were available. Not
that he could not risk spelling “gloves” to accord with “loves,” which
he found with no great difficulty in the holy text: he felt it romantic
to throw himself thus trustfully upon “love,” even should it prove
misleading.
Yet the search was not altogether vain, for though he could find no
gloves, the prophets, he found, were full of exhortations to Jinny,
which he carefully dog-eared and committed to memory and kept up his
sleeve for contingencies. “How canst thou contend with horses?” Jeremiah
asked her. Ezekiel warned her against the cattle-dealer. “By reason of
the abundance of his horses their dust shall cover thee.” As for Isaiah,
he remarked plumply: “Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of
vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope.”
To himself, on the other hand, the prophets were kind; abounding in
promises for the prosperity of his horn. And it was Amos who supplied
his letter with its opening sentence, abrupt but dramatic:
“Can two walk together except they be agreed?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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