In Jinny’s soul, too, there was drought, and she seemed to share
Bundock’s view that prayer was waste of breath. Not that her evening
prayers were left unsaid, but in her apathy and weariness no private
plea was added to the prescribed form, though the Spelling-Book
commended the asking for extra mercies, provided also one begged for a
perpetual continuance of the Protestant Succession. What deliverance
could there be for her? God Himself, she felt obscurely, could not help
her, any more than she had ever been able to help little mavises fallen
from their nests and deserted by their mothers. Their thrilling-eyed
vitality and exquisite flutterings had only made her miserable. But
perhaps God was now as sorry for her.
One grown-up mavis, too, she remembered, a victim to the winter battle
of life, the neck half severed from the half-plucked body, the liquid
eye gazing appealingly at her, the legs stirring feebly in a welter of
feathers. She had nerved herself to grant its dumb plea: she had stamped
sharply on its skull and seen its eye fly out on the path like a bright
bead. Could God do aught less drastic for her? Not that she ever dreamed
of dying: she must live on, however mutilated, for it was impossible to
conceive her grandfather getting along without her. Consider only his
trousers! How loosely they were now flapping round his shrunken calves,
almost like a sailor’s. Soon the winter winds would be piping through
them. Without her to take in a tuck, where would he be? And who would
cut his hair and trim his beard?
It was her grandfather who was mainly responsible for the discontinuance
of her chapel habit on Lord’s Day. His increased fretfulness and
fractiousness since he was become aware of the rival power, made it
imprudent to leave him for long except unavoidably—not to mention the
danger to herself of awkward meetings at chapel with that rival
power—and there was the further difficulty of getting to Chipstone, now
Farmer Gale’s trap was out of the question. But she was not without a
nearer place of worship—for to the scandal of the Peculiars,
particularly Bundock, she now began to attend the parish church of
Little Bradmarsh, whose emptiness with its parade of free seats after
eleven o’clock was a standing pleasantry in the spheres of Dissent. The
convenience of proximity was not, however, its main attraction for
Jinny, and Miss Gentry would have rejoiced less had she understood that
a change of heart or doctrine or the magnetism of the Reverend Mr.
Fallow had as little to do with Jinny’s apparent conversion; though the
fact that Jinny had never forgotten her one childish glimpse of the
prayer-absorbed pastor doubtless served to reassure the girl as to the
not altogether ungodly character of his edifice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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