East Anglia (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Don’t be afraid,” he said; “I’m not going to try
and kiss you again. I have kissed you twice; that is enough for me at present.
And what’s more, though you may rub your face, you can’t rub it out
of your mind. But you are wrong when you say that you won’t marry me,
because you will. I know it. And the first time I kiss you after we are
married, I will remind you of this, Joan Haste. I am not going to ask you to
have me again. I shall wait till you ask me to take you, and then I shall be
revenged upon you. That day will come, the day of your shame and need, the day
of my reward, when, as I have lain in the dirt before you, you will lie in the
dirt before me. That is all I have to say. Good-bye.” And he walked past
her, vanishing behind the reeds.
Now it was for the first time that Joan felt afraid. The insult and danger had
gone by, yet she was frightened, horribly frightened; for though the thing
seemed impossible, it was borne in upon her mind that Samuel Rock’s
presentiment was true, and that an hour might come when, in some sense, she
would lie in the mire before him and seek a refuge as his wife. She could not
conceive any circumstances in which a thing so horrible might happen, for
however sore her necessity, though she shrank from death, it seemed to her that
it would be better to die rather than to suffer such a fate. Yet so deeply did
this terror shake her, that she turned and looked upon the black waters of the
mere, wondering if it would not be better to give it the lie once and for all.
Then she thought of Henry, and her mood changed, for her mind and body were too
healthy to allow her to submit herself indefinitely to such forebodings. Like
many women, Joan was an opportunist, and lived very much in the day and for it.
These things might be true, but at least they were not yet; if she was destined
to be the wife of Samuel Rock in the future, she was her own mistress in the
present, and the shadow of sorrow and bonds to come, so she argued, suggested
the strongest possible reasons for rejoicing in the light and liberty of the
fleeting hour. If she was doomed to an earthly hell, if her hands must be torn
by thorns and her eyes grow blind with tears, at least she was minded to be
able to remember that once she had walked in Paradise, gathering flowers there,
and beholding her heart’s desire.
Thus she reasoned in her folly, as she tramped homewards through the rain,
heedless of the fact that no logic could be more fatal, and none more pleasing
to that tempter who as of old lurks in paradises such as her fancy painted.
When she reached home Joan found her aunt awaiting her in the bar parlour.
“Who has been keeping you all this time in the wet, Joan?” she
asked in a half expectant voice.
Joan lit a candle before she answered, for the place was gloomy.
“Do you wish to know?” she said: “then I will tell you. Your
friend, Mr. Samuel Rock, whom you set after me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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