And yet, oddly enough, it wasn't his memories of Venetia and his regrets
and wounded self-esteem that rendered insipid his belated dinner and
made him presently abandon it in favour of the distracting throngs of
Broadway. They were thoughts of another woman altogether that urged him
forth and homeward--a poignant sympathy for Joan Thursday, the
friendless and forlorn, whose high anticipations had with his own that
day gone crashing to disaster. He couldn't remember what had made him
think of her, but now that he did, it was with disturbing interest.
He found himself suddenly very sorry for the girl--much more sorry for
her than for himself. What to him was at worst a staggering reverse, to
her must seem calamitous beyond repair.
It wasn't hard to conjure up a picture of the child, pitifully huddled
upon her bed, in tears, heart-broken, desolate, perhaps (since he had
not been home to pay her) supperless and hungry!
Matthias quickened his stride. His suddenly awakened and deep solicitude
tormented him. He had received evidence that Joan's was a nature
tempestuous and prone to extremes: he didn't like to contemplate the
lengths to which despair might drive her.
Through the texture of this new-found care ran a thread of irritation
that it should have proved a care to him. He realized that he must of
late have been giving a deal of thought to the girl. Formerly he had
been aware of her much as he was of Madame Duprat; such kindness as he
had shown her had been no greater than, and of much the same order as,
he would have shown a stray puppy. Tonight he found himself unable to
contemplate her as other than a vital figure in his life--a creature of
fire and blood, of spirit and flesh, at once enigmatic and absolute,
owning claims upon his consideration no less actual because passive. He
who had pledged his ability and willingness to find her a foothold on
the stage, was responsible for her present distress and disappointment.
And if his good offices had been sought rather than voluntary, still was
he responsible; for she wouldn't have dreamed of seeking them if he
hadn't in the first place insisted on putting her under obligation to
him. He had in a measure bidden her to look to him; now it was his part
to look out for her.
Hardly a pleasant predicament: Matthias resented it bitterly, with
impatience conceding the weight of that doctrine which teaches the fatal
responsibility of man for his hand's each and every idle turn. He had
paused to pity a stray child of the town; and because of that, he now
found himself saddled with her welfare. A situation exasperating to a
degree! And, he argued, it was merely this subconscious sense of duty
which had of late held the girl so prominently in his mind--ever since,
in fact, that night when she had broken down and impulsively kissed his
hand. Just that one hot-headed, frantic, foolish act had primarily
brought home to Matthias his obligations as the object of her unsought,
unwelcome gratitude....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account