And then, suddenly, the face of life was indescribably changed: Joan
Thursday seemed but a memory, a slight and somehow wistful shadow in the
shadowed depths of that darkling mirror, yesterday; in her place another
creature altogether reigned, the Joan Quard of today, woman, actress,
wife; with a gold band round her finger; mature, initiate of mysteries,
ripe in wisdom; strong, poised serenely, clear of eye; with added
graciousness in her beauty, conscious of added powers over Man, but
discreet in their employment.
She thought a great deal about herself in those days: not, perhaps, more
than had been common with her in that so-dead yesterday, but much, and
more profoundly; reading a new meaning into the riddle of existence, so
changed had all things become since her marriage.
Before her pensive vision Life unfolded rare, golden-vista'd promises.
With another man, or in another stratum of society, she might have
fulfilled herself wonderfully, even unto her salvation....
To begin with, she was very happy. Fond to distraction of her husband,
she never doubted that he worshipped her; he gave her quick wits no
cause to entertain a doubt. They were together always, inseparable. She
felt that nature must truly have fashioned them solely for one another,
and could not forget her wonder that their passion should be so mutual,
so complete. She loved him to distraction: all his traits, his robust
swagger, his sonorous and flexible tones, the flowery eloquence of his
gesture, his broad, easy-going, tolerant good-humour, the way he wore
his clothes and the very cut and texture of them. And she ruled him like
a despot.
Quard submitted without complaint. She was all his fancy had painted
her, and something more; recognizing dimly that she excelled him
variously (although he was quite incapable of analyzing these
distinctions) he served her humbly, with unconscious deference to her
many excellences. She was by way of making him a better wife than he
deserved. If at times conscious of some little irk from her amiable but
inflexible autocracy, he reminded himself that she was a finer woman
than any he had ever known, well worth humouring: it wasn't on every
corner a fellow'd pick up one like Joan.
He liked to follow her into hotel lobbies and restaurants and watch
people turn to eye her, the men with sudden interest, the women with
instinctive hostility. It even amused him to quell a too-ambitious stare
with a fixed, grim, and truculent regard backed by the menace of his
powerful physique. It gave a man standing, license to swagger, to own a
woman like Joan.
He came to pander oddly to this vanity--would leave Joan to go to their
room alone, while he strolled off to a bar to meet some crony or
acquaintance of the day, tell his best story, and then suddenly excuse
himself:
"Well, s'long. The wife's waiting for me."
The response rarely failed: "Ah, let her wait; have another drink. Did
_I_ ever tell you--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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