But though she loved him, this constant expression of his worst points
could not fail to give her a feeling of chill. Was this the way he would
behave in their home when they were married? Would he speak to her as he
spoke to his mother? Would he speak to their children so?... She could
not bear to think it, and yet she could not believe that marriage would
change him all through. What if their marriage made them both
miserable?--made them like some couples she had known on the Marsh,
nagging and hating each other. Was she a fool to think of marrying
him?--all that difference in their age ... only perfect love could make
up for it ... and he did not like the idea of living in the country--he
was set on his business--his "career," as he called it.... She did not
think he wanted to marry her as much as she wanted to marry him.... Was
it right to take him away from his work, which he was doing so well at,
and bring him to live down at Ansdore? My, but he would probably scare
her folk with some of his ways. However, it was now too late to draw
back. She must go on with what she had begun. At all costs she must
marry--not merely because she loved him, but because only marriage could
hallow and silence the past. With all the traditions of her race and
type upon her, Joanna could not face the wild harvest of love. Her wild
oats must be decently gathered into the barn, even if they gave her
bitter bread to eat.
Sec.28
The case of "Godden _versus_ Inland Revenue Commissioners" was heard at
the High Court when Joanna had been at Lewisham about ten days. Albert
tried to dissuade her from being present.
"I can't go with you, and I don't see how you can go alone."
"I shall be right enough."
"Yet you won't even go down the High Street by yourself--I never met
anyone so inconsistent."
"It's my Appeal," said Joanna.
"But there's no need for you to attend. Can't you trust anyone to do
anything without you?"
"Not Edward Huxtable," said Joanna decidedly.
"Then why did you choose him for your lawyer?"
"He's the best I know."
Bertie opened his mouth to carry the argument further, but laughed
instead.
"You _are_ a funny ole girl--so silly and so sensible, so hard and so
soft, such hot stuff and so respectable ..." He kissed her at each item
of the catalogue--"I can't half make you out."
However, he agreed to take her up to town when he went himself, and
deposited her at the entrance of the Law Courts--a solid, impressive
figure in her close-fitting tan coat and skirt and high, feathered
toque, with the ceremonial veil pulled down over her face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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