1048. Cardinal Dubois offered an abbey to a bishop, who refused it, because, he said, he could not reconcile to his conscience the possession of two benefices. The cardinal, in great surprise, said, You should be canonized. I wish, my lord, answered the bishop, that I deserved it; and that you had the power. A delicate reproach of his ambition. 1049. A low Frenchman bragged that the king had spoken to him. Being asked what his majesty had said, he replied, He bade me stand out of his way. 1050. I prefer the quarto size to the octavo: a quarto lies free and open before one. It is surprising how long the world was pestered with unwieldy folios. A Frenchman was asked if he liked books _in folio_ [in the leaf]. No, says he, I like books _in fructu_ [in the fruit]. 1051. Lady Sandon was bribed with a pair of diamond earrings, and procured the donor a good place at court. Though the matter was notoriously known, she was so imprudent as to wear them constantly in public. This being blamed in company, Lady Wortley Montague, like Mrs. Candour, undertook Lady Sandon’s defence. And pray, said she, where is the harm? I, for my part, think Lady Sandon acts wisely―for does not the bush show where the wine is sold? 1052. A Jew and a Christian, both Italians, united their endeavours in a snuff-shop. On Saturday, the sabbath, the Jew did not appear; but on Sunday he supplied the place of the Christian. Some scruples were started to the Jew, but he only answered, _Trovata la legge, trovato l’inganno_, [When laws were invented, tricks were invented.] 1053. After the French revolution, Lord Orford was particularly delighted with the story of the Tigre National. A man who showed wild beasts in Paris, had a tiger from Bengal, of the largest species, commonly called the Royal Tiger. But when royalty, and everything royal, was abolished, he was afraid of a charge of incivism; and, instead of Tigre Royal, put on his sign-board, Tigre National. 1054. An attorney in France having bought a charge of bailiff for his son, advised him never to work in vain, but to raise contributions on those who wanted his assistance. What, father! said the son in surprise, would you have me sell justice? Why not? answered the father: is so scarce an article to be given for nothing? 1055. A father wished to dissuade his daughter from any thoughts of matrimony. She who marries does well, said he; but she who does not marry does better. Father, answered the girl meekly, I am content with doing well; let her do better who can.