Hope told a flattering tale, That Joy would soon return. 1076. An Irish officer in Minorca was found by a gentleman who came to visit him in a morning a little ruffled, and being asked the reason, he replied he had lost a pair of fine black silk stockings out of his room, that cost eighteen shillings; but he hoped he should get them again, for he had ordered them to be cried, with a reward of half-a-crown to the person who brought them. His friend observing that this was too poor a recompense for such a pair of silk stockings: Pooh, man, replied he, I directed the crier to say they were worsted. 1077. A young man having asked an Hibernian who was looked up to as a scholar, what was meant by the posthumous works of such a writer? Why, said the other, posthumous works are those books which a man writes after he is dead. 1078. As you do not belong to my parish, said a clergyman to a begging sailor, with a wooden leg, you cannot expect that I should relieve you. Sir, said the sailor, with a noble air, I lost my leg fighting for all parishes. 1079. Henry IV. of France, passing through a small town, perceived the inhabitants assembled to congratulate him on his arrival. Just as the principal magistrate had commenced a tedious oration, an ass began to bray; on which the king, turning towards the place where the noisy animal was, said gravely, Gentlemen, one at a time, if you please. 1080. Henry IV. to an excellent wit, added most amiable manners, and a most captivating address. On General Armand de Biron coming into his presence, when he was surrounded by some foreign ambassadors, the king immediately took Biron by the hand, and said, Gentlemen, this is Marshal Biron, whom I present with equal pleasure and confidence to my friends as well as my enemies. 1081. The benevolent Dr. Wilson once discovered a clergyman at Bath, who he was informed was sick, poor, and had a numerous family. In the evening, he gave a friend fifty pounds, requesting he would deliver it in the most delicate manner, and as from an unknown person. The friend replied, I will wait upon him early in the morning. You will oblige me by calling directly. Think, sir, of what importance a good night’s rest may be to that poor man. 1082. In a lawsuit respecting boundaries, the counsel on both sides explained their claims on a plan―My lord, said one, we lie on this side: and the other said, My lord, we lie on this side. Nay, said the judge, if you lie on both sides, I can believe neither of you. 1083. The celebrated Henry, Earl of Worcester, once observing the enemy leaving the field, turned round and said, I love to see my own danger, especially when it is marching off. 1084. The earl once calling for a glass of claret, was told by his physician, that claret was bad for the gout. What, my old friend claret! nay, give it me in spite of all physicians and their advice; it shall never be said that I forsook my friend for my enemy.