470. The renowned Mr. Wh―n, the famous astronomer, had made a calculation that the world would be at an end in fifteen years, and some time after offered to dispose of an estate; he asked the gentleman who was about it, at the rate of thirty years purchase, upon which the gentleman, in great surprise, demanded how he could ask so many years purchase, when he very well knew the world would be at an end in half the time. 471. Some thievish fellows being at a tavern, they agreed amongst themselves to steal the silver cup that was brought up to them, and when they were going by the bar, You are welcome, gentlemen, kindly welcome, cried the landlord. Ah, said the fellow with the cup to himself, I wish we were well gone too. 472. A waterman belonging to the Tower, being put by one of the players into the upper gallery in Covent Garden playhouse, the fellow, not being very sober, and falling asleep, tumbled into the pit; but having the old proverb on his side, received little or no hurt; and being told by some of his companions that he was now free of the house, he went to Mr. Rich (the then manager) to put in his claim, who very readily allowed it, with this proviso, that he should always go out the same way he had come in. 473. One told another, who did not use to be clothed over often, that his new coat was too short for him; That’s true, answered his friend, but it will be long enough before I get another. 474. A gentleman who was travelling in Italy, saw one day, as he passed along the road near Naples, a man standing up to his chin in a puddle of dirty water; not able to guess at the meaning of it, he cried out to him, What are you catching there, friend? Cold, replied the other, for I have to sing the bass part at the opera to-night. But suppose, said the gentleman, you catch your death. Why, then, said the other, the opera will be damned. 475. In the reign of Queen Anne, when it was said Lord Orford had got a number of peers made at once, to serve a particular turn, being met next day by Lord Wharton,―So, Robin, said he, I find what you lost by tricks you have gained by honours. 476. A young gentleman who had stolen a ward, being in suit for her fortune, before a late lord chancellor, and the counsel insisting much on the equity of decreeing her a fortune for her maintenance, his lordship turned briskly upon him with this sentence, That since the suitor had stolen the flesh, he should get bread to it how he could. 477. A country fellow, who had served several years in the army abroad, when the war was over, coming home to his friends, was received amongst them with great rejoicing, and the miraculous stories related by him were heard with no small pleasure. Well, said the old father, and prythee Jack, what didst thou learn there? Learn, sir, why I learnt to know that when I turned my shirt, the vermin had a day’s march to my skin again.