518. An Irish clergyman having gone to visit the portraits of the Scottish kings in Holyrood House, observed one of the monarchs of a very youthful appearance, while his son was depicted with a long beard, and wore the traits of extreme old age. Sancta Maria, exclaimed the good Hibernian, is it possible that this gentleman was an old man when his father was born! 519. Mr. Watson, uncle to the late Marquis of Rockingham, a man of immense fortune, finding himself at the point of death, desired a friend who was present, to open him a drawer, in which was an old shirt, that he might put it on. Being asked why he would wish to change his linen when he was so ill, he replied, Because I am told that the shirt I die in must be the nurse’s perquisite, and that is good enough for her!―This was as bad as the old woman, who, with her last breath, blew out an inch of candle, Because, said she, I can see to die in the dark! 520. An officer had the misfortune to be severely wounded in an engagement. As he lay on the field, an unfortunate near him, who was also badly wounded, gave vent to his agony in dreadful howls, which so irritated the officer, who bore his own suffering in silence, that he exclaimed, What do you make such a noise for? Do you think nobody is killed but yourself? 521. The love of long christian names by the Spaniards has frequently been an object of ridicule. A Spaniard on his travels arrived in the night at a little village in France, in which there was but one hotel. As it was almost midnight, he knocked at the door a long while without hearing any one stir. At length the host putting his head out of his chamber window, asked who was there? The Spaniard replied, Don Juan Pedro Hernandez Rodriguez Alvarez de Villa-nova, Count de Malafra, Cavallero de Santiago de Alcantara. Mercy on me! said the host, as he shut the window, I have but two spare beds, and you ask me lodging for a score! 522. A gentleman, of the name of Pepper, having informed a noble amateur in the sports of the field, that he had a very hot and lively horse, which had flung him in the course of a chase on the preceding day, a conversation ensued on the qualities of the animal. In reply to a question as to the name of the horse, the gentleman stated that he had not yet given it one, and was at a loss what to call him. A name, a name, said Lord N., why, sir, you should call him Peppercaster. 523. A wag passing through a country town, observed a fellow placed in the stocks. My friend, said he, I advise you by all means to sell out. I should have no objection, your honour, he replied drily, but at present they seem much too low.