594. A justice of the peace, who was possessed with the itch of scribbling, and had written a book which he meant to publish, sent it to Ben Jonson for his opinion, who, finding it full of absurdities, returned it, with his compliments, and recommended his worship to send it to the house of correction. 595. One day Charlotte Smith was walking along Piccadilly, when the tray of a butcher’s boy came in sudden contact with her shoulder, and dirtied her dress. The deuce take the tray, exclaimed she, in a pet. Ah, but the deuce can’t take the tray, replied young rump-steak, with the greatest gravity. 596. George the First, on a journey to Hanover, stopped at a village in Holland, and while the horses were getting ready, he asked for two or three eggs, which were brought him, and charged two hundred florins. How is this? said his majesty, eggs must be very scarce in this place. Pardon me, said the host, eggs are plenty enough, but kings are scarce. The king smiled, and ordered the money to be paid. 597. A farmer in the neighbourhood of Doncaster, was thus accosted by his landlord: John, I am going to raise your rent. John replied, Sir, I am very much obliged to you, for I cannot raise it myself. 598. Two bucks riding on the western road on a Sunday morning, met a lad driving a flock of sheep towards the metropolis; when one of them accosted him with, Prithee, Jack, which is the way to Windsor? How did you know my name was Jack? said the boy, staring in their faces. We are conjurors, young Hobnail, said the gentlemen, laughing. Oh! be you! then you don’t want I to show you the way to Windsor, replied the lad, pursuing his journey. 599. Two gentlemen were walking in the High Street, Southampton, one day, about that hour which the industrious damsels of the mop and brush usually devote to cleansing the pavement before the door. It happened that the bucket used upon such occasions was upon the stones, and one of the gentlemen stumbled against it. My dear friend, exclaimed the other, I lament your death exceedingly! My death! Yes, you have just kicked the bucket. Not so, rejoined his friend, I have only turned a little pale (pail). 600. A bill was once brought into the House of Assembly at Jamaica, for regulating wharfingers. Mr. P. Phipps, a distinguished member, rose and said, Mr. Speaker, I very much approve of the bill; the wharfingers are all a set of knaves; I was one myself ten years. 601. An Irishman saw the sign of the Rising Sun near the Seven Dials, and underneath was written, A. Moon, the man’s name who kept it being Aaron Moon. The Irishman, thinking he had discovered a just cause for triumph, roared out to his companion, Only see, Phelim! see here! they talk of the Irish bulls; only do but see now! here’s a fellow puts up the Rising Sun, and calls it A Moon. 602. A grocer, in Dublin, announces that he has whiskey on sale which was drunk by his late Majesty while he was in Ireland.