John, A Love Story; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
John, A Love Story; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction; Love stories
obstructions, and hindrances which met her at every side. What could
she do, a weak woman, she said to herself, against all the powers of
darkness, as embodied in Fanshawe Regis? Would it not be best to resign
the unprofitable warfare and sink back into quiet, and shut out the
mocking light?
Poor Mrs Mitford! wherever she went the people asked her questions
about Mr John. Was he not to be a clergyman after all? Was it along
o’ his lass that wouldn’t let him do as he wished? What was it? His
mother came home with her heart wearied by such inquiries, and sick
with disappointment and misery. And she would go up to the room in
which he was born, and cry, and say to herself that she never never
could encounter it again. And oh, how dreary it was sitting down-stairs
for the few moments which necessity and Dr Mitford required, in those
summer nights when the moths were flying by scores in at the open
window, and dimness reigned in all the corners, and the lamp shone
steady and clear on the table! In all the obscurity round her, her son
was not lurking. He was not ready to step in by the open window as
he had done so often. He was with Kate Crediton, giving up his whole
heart and soul to her; and his father and mother rang for the servants,
and had prayers, as though they had never had any children. What a
change, what a change it was! Mrs Mitford knew that it was impossible
to thwart providence, let its plans be ever so unsatisfactory; but oh,
she said to herself, why did not Kate’s accident happen close to the
Huntleys, or to any house but hers? Other boys were not so romantic,
not so tender-hearted; and other mothers had heaps of children, and
could not brood over the fortunes of every individual among them, as
Mrs Mitford, with an ache of helpless anger at herself, knew that she
brooded over John’s. But all was in vain. She could not mend matters
now. She could not mend her own bleeding, aching heart. And after all,
the only thing possible was to go back to her work, whatever might
come of it, and do her best. She could bear anything, she thought, but
those Sunday nights--moments which had once been so sweet, and were now
so solitary. She said not a word to any one, and tried hard to keep
herself from thinking; and she wrote kind, cheerful little letters to
her boy, who, for his part, was so very good in writing regularly--so
unlike most young men, as she told the people. But after she had
finished those cheery, pleasant, gossiping letters, with all the news
of the parish in them, Mrs Mitford would sit down and have a good cry.
Oh what a change there was! how silent the house was, how ghostly the
garden where she was always thinking she heard his step! The servants
came in and went out again, and the father and the mother would sit
together softly without a word, as if they had no child. Thus it will
be seen that, of all concerned, it was Mrs Mitford who suffered most;
but that none was satisfied, or felt the slightest approach of anything
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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