John, A Love Story; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
John, A Love Story; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction; Love stories
enough gone to put such a question definitely in words to himself,
but it lingered about the avenues of his mind, and sweet whispers of
response seemed to breathe over him. Two, and not one! and he was
understood, and his difficulties appreciated; and surely now the
guiding light at last must come.
His mother heard him come in, as she lay awake thinking of him, and
wondered why he should go out so late, and whether he had shut the
door, and thanked heaven his father was fast asleep, and did not hear
him; for Dr Mitford would have become alarmed had he heard of such
nocturnal walks--first, for John’s morals, lest he should have found
some unlawful attraction in the village; and, second, for the plate,
if the house was known to be deprived of one of its defenders. His
anxious mother, though she had thought of little else since his birth
except John’s ways and thoughts, had yet no inkling of anything deeper
that might be in his mind. That he might love Kate, and that Kate might
play with him as a cat plays with a mouse--encourage him for her own
amusement while she stayed at Fanshawe Regis, and throw him off as
soon as she left--that was Mrs Mitford’s only fear respecting him. It
was so painful that it kept her from sleeping. She could not bear to
think of any one so wounding, so misappreciating, her boy. If she but
knew him as I know him, she would go down on her knees and thank God
for such a man’s love, she said to herself in the darkness, drying her
soft eyes. But how was his mother--a witness whose impartiality nobody
would believe in--to persuade the girl of this? And Mrs Mitford was a
true woman, and ranked a “disappointment” at a very high rate among
the afflictions of men. And it was very, very grievous to her to think
of this little coquette trifling with her son, and giving the poor
boy a heartbreak. She was nearly tempted half-a-dozen times to get up
and throw her dressing-gown about her, and make her way through the
slumbering house, and through the ghostly moonlight which fell broadly
in from the staircase-window upon the corridor, to Kate’s room, to
rouse her out of her sleep, and shake her, and say, “Oh you careless,
foolish, naughty little Kate! You will never get the chance of such
another, if you break my boy’s heart.” It would have been very, very
foolish of her had she done so; and yet that was the impulse in her
mind. But it never occurred to Mrs Mitford that when he took that long,
silent, dreary walk, he might be thinking of something else of even
more importance than Kate’s acceptance or refusal. She had watched
him all his life, day by day and hour by hour, and yet she had never
realised such a possibility. So she lay thinking of him, and wondering
when he would come back, and heard afar off the first faint touch of
his foot on the path, and felt her heart beat with satisfaction, and
hoped he would lock the door; but never dreamed that his long wandering
out in the dark could have any motive or object except the first
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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