John, A Love Story; vol. 2 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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John, A Love Story; vol. 2 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction; Love stories
When she had arrived at the conclusion of her journey, the poor child
set out half-a-dozen times from the little lighted station which was as
an oasis in the desert of darkness, and as many times crept back again
to the shelter of the friendly lights. She leant against the paling
of the station-master’s cottage opposite the window, where there was
protection, and cried. Darkness that she could feel crept and rustled
about her; and silence, which she could feel too, penetrated to her
very soul. She did not dare to ask the porter who had looked at her so
curiously, to go with her. He might kill her on the road, and leave her
lying there all covered by the darkness, to be found out when it was
too late. Kate cried over this picture of herself. They would all be
sorry then; they would be grieved that they had driven her desperate;
and there was one that would never, never recover it all his life. Oh
that he were only there now with his strong arm to support her--oh
John, John, John! And all this time his heart was aching too, thinking
she had forsaken him. Where was he? Like herself out somewhere in the
night full of despairing thoughts. And here was still this dreadful
passage to be crossed before she could even hear of him where he was.
At Fanshawe the scene was very different. Mrs Mitford was seated by the
lamp, with her basket by her full of things to mend; but her hands had
fallen into her lap, and there were signs of agitation in her face.
There was a fire burning at the other end of the room, which gave it
a different aspect, but she had not yet given up her summer-seat, and
the window was open as of old. In the shade behind the lamp, some one
was walking up and down--up and down, filling the room with a sense of
restlessness and restraint. The two were talking in hushed tones as
if something had happened. And not long before, Dr Mitford had flung
away out of the room in anger which could scarcely find strong enough
expression, “You should have thought of all this sooner. What! leave
the bank? Quarrel with your good fortune and all your prospects! No, I
have no patience. He has behaved like a fool, and ought to be treated
as such,” the Doctor had cried. He was ashamed of his son and of sundry
little brags of his own, which John’s fine prospects had called from
him; and he did not know how to face the Fanshawes and all the rest of
the parish, and allow that John had thrown all his advantages away. He
had been struggling, as a weak hot-tempered man is apt to struggle,
against the inevitable, that whole day: he had been endeavouring to
drive John back to a sense of his duty, to Camelford and the bank. “If
you had taken my advice you never would have gone into it,” he cried;
“but now that the sacrifice has been made, to draw back! I have no
patience with such folly.” John had not said a word in self-defence.
He said, “I have been a fool; it is quite true, mother,” when Mrs
Mitford tried to defend him: and the day had been wretched enough to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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