"No sooner said than done; we left the ball-room, jumped into the brougham, and in a few minutes we were ... in a _cabinet particulier_. The Count had a little sardonic, triumphant expression, that made me feel a little uneasy, but what was to be done? I tried to look as dignified as possible, when the waiter came in to receive his orders. With his wife, a man does not commit great extravagances: the Count ordered oysters, a lobster salad, some cold chicken, ices, and a bottle of iced champagne. I had never seen my husband so gay, so bright, so witty.... Oh! how lovely it is to be adored by one's husband!... At dessert the Count became somewhat enterprising ... I mean very enterprising! Fortunately the waiter came in...." _Lady B._--"Without knocking?" _La Comtesse._--"Without knocking; they are accustomed to it.... They see such things, you know." _Lady B._--"It must be high fun for them." _La Comtesse._--"Not at all ... habit, you see ... they would much rather be in bed, I can assure you. Well, as I was telling you, the waiter came in for my husband's orders. 'Waiter,' said he, 'you can go now. Bring some coffee ... when I ring.' The waiter bowed and retired. You should have seen with what ease the Count gave him this order.... Oh! you know, it was easy to see he had had ... a little experience ... it was not the first time he had supped in a _cabinet particulier_." _Lady B._ (_seriously_).--"How can you suppose such things?" _La Comtesse._--"How can I? (_kissing her._) Dear child, how refreshing you are! However, what is perfectly certain is that, although rather light-headed with the two glasses of champagne that the Count had poured out for me, I saw quite clearly that he was locking the door." _Lady B._--"Oh! I should have screamed." _La Comtesse._--"I had a great mind to; but what was the good? No law protects a woman from her husband; you know that. We have no Woman's Protection Society in France yet; _you_ have, you see.... I had risen indeed, but the Count had seized me in his arms.... By the way, don't you think there is something curiously fascinating in the idea of a woman in the strong arms of the man she loves and who adores her ... as they stand, she helpless, almost _perdue_ ... _perdue_ in the arms of your husband, it is not dangerous ... _on se retrouve_, you know ... he, holding her up, and gazing into her face with eyes that seem to devour her...." _Lady B._--"Don't talk about it." _La Comtesse._--"Then...." _Lady B._--"Call the waiter, and let us have the coffee, my dear Comtesse: it is high time." _La Comtesse._--"I will do something better than that: I will give you a cup of tea ... _à l'anglaise_." (_She rings._) XVII. The Teetotal Mania--Second Epistle to John Bull--The darling Sin of Mrs. John Bull, according to a venerable Archdeacon and a few charitable Ladies--A free-born Briton, Member of the Yellow Ribbon Army.