John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
But what, of all things, attracted my attention on that memorable
day, was the show of cows, sheep and horses, mooing, baaing, and
neighering; and the race--that was best! Od, what a sight!--we were
jammed in the crowd of auld wives, with their toys and shining
ribbons; and carter lads, with their blue bonnets; and young
wenches, carrying home their fairings in napkins, as muckle as
would hold their teeth going for a month;--there scarcely could
he muckle for love, when there was so much for the stomach;--and
men with wooden legs, and brass virls at the end of them,
playing on the fiddle,--and a bear that roared, and danced on
its hind feet, with a muzzled mouth,--and Punch and Polly,--and
puppie-shows and mair than I can tell,--when up came the horses
to the starting-post. I shall never forget the bonny dresses of
the riders. One had a napkin tied round his head, another had on
a black velvet hunting-cap and his coat stripped O! but he was a
brave lad and sorrow was the folks for him, when he fell off in
taking ower sharp a turn, by which auld Pullen, the bell-ringer wha
was holding the post was made to coup the creels. And the last was
all life, as gleg as an eel. Up and down he went and up and down
gaed the beast on its hind-legs and its fore-legs, funking like
mad; yet tho’ he was not aboon thirteen, or fourteen at most, he
did not cry out for help more than five or six times, but grippit
at the mane with one hand and at the back of the saddle with the
other, til, daft Robie, the hostler at the stables claught hold
of the beast by the head, and off they set. The young birkie had
neither hat nor shoon but he did not spare the stick; round and
round they flew like daft. Ye would have thought their een would
have loupen out, and loudly all the crowd were hurraing, when young
hatless came up foremost, standing in the stirrups, the long stick
between his teeth, and his white hair fleeing behind him in the
wind like streamers on a frosty night.
CALF-LOVE.
Just after I was put to my ’prenticeship, having made free choice
of the tailoring trade, I had a terrible stound of calf-love.
Never shall I forget it. I was growing up, long and lank as a
willow-wand, brawns to my legs there were none, as my trowsers of
other years too visibly effected to show. The long yellow hair hung
down, like a flax-wig, the length of my lantern jaws, which looked,
notwithstanding my yapness and stiff appetite, as if eating and
they had broken up acquaintanceship. My blue jacket seemed in the
sleeves to have picket a quarrel with the wrists, and had retreated
to a tait below the elbows. The haunch-buttons, on the contrary
appeared to have taken a strong liking to the shoulders, a little
below which they showed their tarnished brightness. At the middle
of the back the tails terminated, leaving the well-worn rear of my
corduroys, like a full moon seen through a dark haze. Oh! but I
must have been a bonny lad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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