A’ Maids, therefore, I do bemoan, Betwixt the rivers Dee and Don, If anes they get a taste o’ yon, Though by the laird, The toy-mutch maun then gae on, Nae mair bare-hair’d. Yet wanton Venus, that she-b--h, Does a’ our senses sae bewitch, An’ fires our blood wi’ sic an itch, That aftentimes, There is nae help but to commit, Some ill-far’d crimes. Yet some they are sae very willing, At ony time they’ll tak’ a shilling, But he that learnt them first that spelling, Or Meg or Nell, Be sure, to him they’ll lay an egg in; This some can tell. Unthinking things! it is their creed, If some sic things be done wi’ speed, They’re safe, ’tis help in time o’ need, Nae after-claps: Tho’ nine months aft brings quick or dead, Into their laps. Experience thus makes me speak, I ance was hooked wi’ the cleek, I almost had beshit my breek, When Maggy told, That by her saul, not e’en a week Young Jack would hold. She was sae stiff she cou’d not loot; Your pranks she says, are now found out, The kirk and you maun hae a bout; Ill mat you fare, ’Tis a’ your ain, you need na doubt Ilk hilt an hair. Alas that e’er I saw your face, I can nae langer hide the case; Had I foreseen this sad disgrace, Nae man nor you, Shou’d e’er hae met me in yon place, Or kiss’d my mou’. O Dominie, you’re dispossest, Ye hae defil’d your holy nest, The warld sees ye hae transgrest, I’m at my time, Ye dare nae mair, now do your best Let gae the rhyme. Ohon! how weel I might hae kent, When first to you I gae consent, Wi’ me to mak your merriment, How a’ would be: Alas! that e’er my loom I lent That day to thee. Wae to the night I first began To mix my moggans wi’ thee man: ’Tis needless now to curse or ban, But deil hae me, Ye’ll pay an’ sit, for sit ye can, An’ that ye’ll see. I heard her as I heard her not, But time and place had quite forgot, I guess’d Young Jack fell to my lot; For I could tell, It was too short her petticoat, By half an ell. Wi’ blubber’d cheeks, and watry nose, Her weary story she did close; I said the best, and aff she goes Just like a thief, An’ took a glass to interpose, ’Twixt mirth and grief.