_Tom._ Well brother traveller of what nation art thou? _Teag._ Arra dear shoy, I came from my own kingdom. _Tom._ Why, I know that, but where is thy kingdom? _Teag._ Allelieu dear honey, don’t you know Cork is in Ireland? _Tom._ You fool, Cork is not a kingdom but a city. _Teag._ Then dear shoy, I’m sure it is in a kingdom. _Tom._ And what is the reason you have come and left your own dear country? _Teag._ Arra dear honey, by shaint Patrick, they have got such comical laws in our country, that they will put a man to death in perfect health; so to be free and plain with you, neighbour, I was obliged to come away, for I did not choose to stay among such a people that can hang a poor man when they please, if he either steals, robs, or kills a man. _Tom._ Ay, but I take you to be more of an honest man, than to steal, rob, or kill a man. _Teag._ Honest, I am perfectly honest, when I was but a child, my mother would have trusted me with a house full of mill-stones. _Tom._ What was the matter, was you guilty of nothing? _Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I did harm to nobody, but fancied an old gentleman’s gun, and afterwards made it my own. _Tom._ Very well boy, and did you keep it so? _Teag._ Keep it, I would have kept it with all my heart while I lived, death itself could not have parted us, but the old rogue, the gentleman, being a justice of peace himself, had me tried for the rights of it, and how I came by it, and so took it again. _Tom._ And how did you clear yourself without punishment? _Teag._ Arra dear shoy, I told him a parcel of lies, but they would not believe me; for I said that I got it from my father when it was a little pistol, and I had kept it till it had grown a gun, and was designed to use it well until it had grown a big cannon, and then sell it to the military. They all fell a laughing at me as I had been a fool, and bade me go home to my mother and clean the potatoes. _Tom._ How long is it since you left your own country? _Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I do not mind whether it be a fortnight or four months, but I think myself, it is a long time; they tell me my mother is dead since, but I wont believe it until I get a letter from her own hand, for she is a very good scholar, suppose she can neither write nor read. _Tom._ Was you ever in England before? _Teag._ Ay, that I was, and in Scotland too. _Tom._ And were they kind to you when you was in Scotland? _Teag._ They were that kind that they kick’t my arse for me, and the reason was because I would not pay the whole of the liquor that was drunk in the company, though the landlord and his two sons got mouthful about of it all, and I told them it was a trick upon travellers, first to drink his liquor, and then to kick him out of doors. _Tom._ I really think they have used you badly, but could you not beat them?