John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
_Teag._ A bad luck to her own barren belly, for she lived in great
plenty, and died in great poverty; devoured up all or she died but
two hens, and a pockful of potatoes, a poor estate for an Irish
gentleman, in faith.
_Tom._ And what did you make of the hens, and potatoes, did you sow
them?
_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I sowed them in my belly, and sold the
hens to a cadger.
_Tom._ What business did your mother follow after?
_Teag._ Greatly in the merchant way.
_Tom._ And what sort of goods did she deal in?
_Teag._ Dear honey, she went through the country and sold small
fishes, onions and apples, bought hens and eggs and then hatched
them herself. I remember of a long-necked cock she had, of an
oversea brood, that stood on the midden and picked all the stars
out of the north-west, so they were never so thick there since.
_Tom._ Now Paddy, that’s a bull surpasses all: but is there none of
that cock’s offspring alive now.
_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I don’t think there are, but it is a pity
but they had, for they would fly with people above the sea, which
would put the use of ships out of fashion, and nobody be drowned at
all.
_Tom._ Very well Paddy, but in all your travels did you ever get a
wife?
_Teag._ Ay, that’s what I did, and a wicked wife too, and my dear
shoy, I can’t tell whether she is gone to Purgatory, or the parish
of Pig-trantrum; for she told me she should certainly die the first
opportunity she could get, as this present evil world was not worth
the waiting on, so she would go and see what good things is in
the world to come; so when that old rover called the Fever came
raging over the whole kingdom, she went away and died out of spite,
leaving me nothing.
_Tom._ O but Paddy, you ought to have gone to a doctor, and got
some pills and physic for her.
_Teag._ By shaint Patrick, I had as good a pill of my own as any
doctor in the kingdom could give her.
_Tom._ O you fool, that is not what I mean; you ought to have
brought the doctor to feel her pulse, and let blood of her if he
thought it needful.
_Teag._ Yes that’s what I did, for I ran to the doctor whenever
she died, and sought something for a dead or dying woman; the old
foolish devil was at his dinner, and began to ask me some dirty
questions, which I answered distinctly.
_Tom._ And what did he ask Paddy?
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