Leper was in use to give his lads their Sunday’s supper, which obliged him to stay from the kirk in the afternoon, he having neither wife nor servant maid; so one Sunday afternoon as he was cooking his pot, John Mucklecheek, and James Puff-and-blaw, two civileers, having more zeal than knowledge, came upon him, and said--What’s the matter, sir, you go not to the kirk? Leper replied, I’m reading my book and cooking my pot, which I think is a work of necessity. Then says the one to the other, don’t answer that graceless fellow, we’ll make him appear before his betters; so they took the kail pot, and puts a staff through the bools, and bears it to the Clerk’s chamber. Leper who was never at a loss for invention, goes to the Principal of the College’s house, no body being at home but a lass roasting a leg of mutton; Leper says, my dear, will you go and bring me a drink of ale, and I’ll turn the spit till you come back. The lass was no sooner gone, than he runs away with the leg of mutton, which served his lads and him for their supper. When the Principal came home, he was neither to haud nor to bind he was so angry; so on Monday he goes and makes a complaint to the Lord Provost, who sends two officers for Leper, who came immediately. My Lord asked him how he dared to take away the Principal’s mutton? Leper replied, how dared your civileers to take away my kail pot? I’m sure there is less sin in making a pot full of kail, than roasting a leg of mutton, law makers should not be law breakers, so I demand justice on the civileers. The Provost asked him what justice he would have? says he, make them carry the pot back again; and to the Principal, a leg of mutton will not make him and me fall out; so they were forced to carry the pot back again, and Leper caused the boys to huzza after them to their disgrace. There was a barber who always plagued Leper, and called him prick-the-louse.--Leper resolved to be even with him, so he goes and buys three sheep heads, and sends for the barber, and told him, that there were three fine Southland gentlemen just come to his house, which much wanted to be shaved, and he assured him he would receive sixpence for each one of them;--this good news made the shaver send for a dram;--Leper was still praising them for quiet good natured gentlemen. So Leper takes him to the bed where the sheep heads lay covered, and desired him to awaken them for they would not be angry, or say an ill word to him, the barber lifts the covering and sees the sheep heads, runs out cursing and swearing, and Leper crying after him, sheep head barber.