One day, at the table of the late Dr. Pearse, (Dean of Ely,) just as the cloth was removing, the subject of discourse happened to be that of an extraordinary mortality amongst the lawyers. ‘We have lost,’ said a gentleman, ‘not less than six eminent barristers in as many months.’--The Dean, who was quite deaf, rose as his friend finished his remark, and gave the company grace--‘For this, and every other mercy, the Lord’s name be praised!’ In Salem, Massachusets, after the heavy and deep snow fall, a man was discovered sticking sticks into a huge ‘winter bank of snow.’ On being asked why he amused himself thus? ‘Amuse!’ said he, with a voice which betrayed the deepest anxiety of mind, ‘fine amusement! I have lost my shop--it used to stand somewhere near this spot.’ During the last Assizes, in a case of assault and battery, where a stone had been thrown by the defendant, the following clear and conclusive evidence was drawn out of a Yorkshireman:--Did you see the defendant throw the stone?--I saw a stone, and I’ze pretty sure the defendant throwed it.--Was it a large stone?--I should say it war a largeish stone.--What was its size?--I should say sizeable stone.--Can’t you answer definitely how big it was?--I should say it wur a stone of some bigness.--Can’t you give the jury some idea of the stone?--Why, as near as I recollect, it wur something of a stone.--Can’t you compare it to some other object?--Why, if I wur to compare it, so as to give some notion of the stone, I should say it wur as large as a lump of chalk. FINIS. THE SCOTCH HAGGIS; A SELECTION OF CHOICE BON MOTS, IRISH BLUNDERS, REPARTEES, ANECDOTES, &c. Care to our coffin adds a nail no doubt, While every laugh so merry draws one out. [Illustration] GLASGOW: PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS. ANECDOTES. ENGLISHMAN AND HIGHLANDMAN. An English vessel passing up the Clyde fell in with a Highland Sloop coming down which the captain of the former hailed with the usual salutation of “Sloop ahoy!” when the following conversation took place:-- CAPTAIN. What’s your cargo? HIGHLANDER. Penlomon. CAP. Where are you bound for? HIGH. Potatoes. CAP. What’s your Captain’s name? HIGH. Proomala. CAP. Where do you come from? HIGH. Yes; it’s a fine poat. CAP. Will you take us on board? HIGH. Yesterday. DUKE OF BUCCLEUGH.