All that day I travelled the country west from Haddington, but could get no meat; when asked if they had any to sell, they told me they never did sell any bread, and I found, by sad experience, they had none to give for nothing. I came into a little country village, and went through it all, house after house, and could get neither bread nor ale to buy. At last I came into a poor weaver’s house, and asked him if he would lend me a hammer: Yes, said he: what are ye going to do with it? Indeed, said I, I am going to knock out all my teeth with it, for I can get no bread to buy in all the country, for all the stores and stacks you have in it. What, said he, was you in the minister’s? I know not, said I, does he keep an alehouse? O no, said he, he preaches every sunday; and what does he preach? said I, is it to harden your hearts? haud well together? have no charity? hate strangers? hunger the poor? eat and drink all yourselves? better burst your bellies than give it to beggars, or let good meat spoil? If your minister be as haughty as his people, I’m positive he’ll drive a louse to London for the hide and tallow. Here I bought the weaver’s dinner for twopence, and then set out again, keeping my course westward. It being now night, I came to a farmer’s house south from Dalkeith; the goodman being very civil, and desirous of news, I related the whole passages of the two days and nights by-past, whereat he was greatly diverted, and said, I was the first he heard of, that ever that man gave quarters to before, though he was an elder in the parish. So the goodman and I fell so thick, that he ordered me to be laid on a shake-down bed by the fire, where I lay more snug than among the swine. Now there were three women lying in a bed in the same apartment, and they not minding that I was there, first one of them rose and let her water go below the chimney grate, where I had a perfect view of her bonny thing, as the coal burned so clearely all the night; and then another rose and did the same; last of all got up the old matron, as she appeared to be, like a second handed goodwife, or a whirled o’er maiden, six times overturned, and as she let her dam go, she also, with full force, when done, let a f--t like the blast of a trumpet, which made the ashes on the hearth stone to fly up like dust about her buttocks, whereat I was forced to laugh out, which made her to run for it, but to smother the laughter I stapt the blankets in my mouth; she went to bed and awakened the other two, saying, O dole! what will I tell you? yon chapman body has seen a’ our a--ses the night! Shame fa’ him, said they, for we had nae mind he was there; I wat weel, says one of them, I’se no rise till he be awa’: but said the old woman, gin he has seen mine, I canna help it, it’s just like other folk’s, an’ feint a hair I care. On the morning the old matron got up first, and ordered up the house, then told me to rise now, for chapmen and every body were up; then