John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
There were two men of Gotham, and one of them was going to
Nottingham market to buy sheep, and both met together on Nottingham
bridge. Well met, said one to the other; whither are you going?
said he that came from Nottingham. Marry, said he that was going
thither, I am going to the market to buy sheep. Buy sheep! said the
other, which way will you bring them home? Marry, said the other,
I will bring them over this bridge. By Robin Hood, said he that
came from Nottingham, but thou shalt not. By my maid Margery, said
the other, but I will. You shall not, said the one. I will, said
the other. Then they beat their staves one against the other, and
then against the ground, as if a hundred sheep had been betwixt
them. Hold there, said the one. Beware of my sheep leaping over
the bridge, said the other. I care not, said the one. They shall
all come this way, said the other. But they shall not, said the
one. Then said the other, if thou makest much ado, I will put my
finger in thy mouth. A turd thou wilt, said the other. And as they
were in contention, another wise man that belonged to Gotham, came
from the market with a sack of meal on his horse; and seeing his
neighbours at strife about sheep and none betwixt them, said he, Ah
fools! will you never learn wit! Then help me, continued he, to lay
this sack upon my shoulder; they did so, and he went to the side
of the bridge and shook out the meal into the river, saying, How
much meal is there in my sack, neighbour? Marry, said one, there is
none. Indeed, replied this wise man, even so much wit is there in
your two heads to strive for that you have not. Now which was the
wisest of these three, I leave thee to judge.
TALE II.
There was a man of Gotham that rode to the market with two bushels
of wheat, and lest his horse should be damaged by carrying too
great a burden he was determined to carry the corn himself, upon
his own neck, and still kept riding upon his horse till he arrived
at the end of his journey. I will leave you to judge which was the
wisest, his horse or himself.
TALE III.
On a time the men of Gotham fain would have pinned in the cuckoo
that she might sing all the year; and in the midst of the town they
had a hedge made round in compass, and got a cuckoo and put her
into it, and said, Sing here, and thou shalt lack neither meat nor
drink all the year. The cuckoo, when she found herself encompassed
by the hedge, flew away. A vengeance on her, said these wise men,
we did not make our hedge high enough.
TALE IV.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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