John de Lancaster: a novel; vol. III.Cumberland, Richard
General
John de Lancaster: a novel; vol. III.
Cumberland, Richard
Wales, North -- Fiction
conduct I may atone for not devoting my life, as well as my fortune, to
the service of my country; and you may walk forth amongst your poor
dependent pensioners, brighter and more splendid in the lustre of your
charities than if I hung you round with all the jewels of the Lady of
Loretto. Let us live hospitably, becomingly, liberally, after the
example of my grandfather; but don’t let us make an undistinguishing
waste either by our domestic style of living, or by wanton largesses to
any, who may not deserve, as well as need, relief. We will support the
industrious, who struggle against hard fortune, and the helpless, who
would else sink under it; but we will not confound the lazy drone with
the laborious bee. And now, beloved of my soul, as I have occupied you
with a long homily, and wearied you with a long walk, here is a baiting
place to repose in; sit down with me upon this shady bench, and let me
read my answer in those heavenly eyes.
Oh, my dear sir, replied the fond and happy Amelia, your just and
generous sentiments instruct and charm me. Convinced, that by the
practice of these virtues you will ensure all that my heart can wish,
all that my prayers can ask of Heaven, you give me that supreme
delight, which only can be felt, but not described. What can I say to
you? What other answer can you look for from your devoted, your
betrothed Amelia, but that I am entirely yours? Is it enough to tell
you, that I love you, that my whole happiness depends upon you? No; I am
not quite convinced, but that the impression, which at our first
interview you left so deeply fixed in this poor hopeless heart, would
have compelled me to have loved you still, though you had treated me
with marked neglect; nay, though you had neglected your own self, and
fallen off from that high character in which I now behold you and
admire. I felt as if I could have forgiven you every thing: and when you
left me for so long a time without a word to soften my despair, I feared
indeed that you was lost for ever, but I did not suspect you to be
cruel. I knew you was offended with Mrs. Jennings, but I was sorry to
find your resentment could be so lasting, and that you would take no
pains to acquit me, who was innocent, and set my mind at rest. Morning
and night I mused upon the words I heard you utter, when, looking on the
portrait of my father, you pledged protection to the orphan who then
lived, as she still does, upon the bounty of your family--Is this the
man (I said within myself) who threw his arms about me, and pressed me
with such rapture to his heart? Was there no meaning in that fond
embrace? Did it sink only into my sad heart? Alas, I hoped that his had
felt it too!--Thus I tormented my poor wretched self, till now, behold!
I am sitting by your side--Nay; hear me out!--I have not told one
half--
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