“Yes,” answered Holdsworth, the smile fading off his face. “Once--once
only, just now, a fancy came into my mind--I cannot explain its nature,
or what it betokened, but it vanished the instant I attempted to
grapple with it.”
“Did it leave no impression--no idea whatever?”
“None. I can compare it to nothing better than a dim light stealing
across the wall of a dark room and disappearing.”
Mr. Sherman was silent; and presently said:
“What do you propose to do when you reach Sydney?”
“I have often thought of that. I must seek work and wait.”
“Wait until your memory returns?”
“Yes.”
“The captain and I were talking about you just now, and I suggested
that, were you to return to England, which I am persuaded is your
native country, you might come across a friend who would give you your
memory back at once; or failing such a friend, you might encounter some
scene which would achieve the same end.”
“I don’t think I could bear another long voyage just yet,” answered
Holdsworth, glancing at the sea. “What should make the water so hateful
to me? Sometimes I fancy I must have passed many years upon it, and
that it has served me badly.”
“Oh, your dislike is easily understood. But now with regard to your
prospects. Will it be wise for you to remain in Australia? You must
have friends at home--supposing England to be your home.”
“But how shall I find them?”
“Ay, that’s it. Much might be done if I could only discover your name.
I must make a list of all the names beginning with H. The only question
is, would you know your name if you were to see it?”
“I would try,” answered the poor fellow humbly.
“Well, now, I’ll tell you what I have in my mind,” said Mr. Sherman,
laying his hand kindly on Holdsworth’s. “I look upon you as a man whom,
having brought to life--for I take the credit of your recovery to
myself--it is my proper privilege to support. But I shall not allow you
to be dependent on charity. I have an office in Sydney, and you shall
have a desk in that office, and so earn a salary that will maintain you
in comfort. By-and-by your memory will come back. You will then return
to England, and I shall heartily wish you God’s blessing, for you have
suffered--yes, you have suffered very much--more than I, more than any
of us, can conceive.”
He broke off suddenly, his voice faltering.
Holdsworth seized his hand.
“Mr. Sherman ... good, kind friend ... God will reward you ... I have
suffered ... I ... I feel it here,” pressing his hand to his head.
“Sir, dear sir, believe me grateful!”
“I do believe you grateful, and it pleases me to believe it, for it
is a pleasure to serve the grateful. Well, we have settled that.
But understand, though you will remain with me as long as you like,
yet, at the first prompting of your memory, I shall exhort you to
return to England, for I cannot persuade myself that you are not
leaving relatives and friends who will mourn you as dead, and suffer
unnecessary sorrow on your account.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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