The landlord behind the bar made him a low bow, and offered his
services to show him over the village. Holdsworth declined his offer
with a “Thank you,” and walked into the road. He glanced over his
shoulder suspiciously as he advanced, disliking the inquisitive stare
with which he had been followed through the bar of the inn by the
people drinking there, but no one watched him. He held a stick, on
which he leaned as he moved, like an infirm man; and often he paused
and gazed around him. The people in the roadway, or in the houses,
eyed him as he passed with the curiosity a stranger seldom fails to
excite in small unfrequented places; but he took no notice of them; his
mind was intent on vivifying the impressions it was receiving with old
memories, and adjusting the ideas which had been restored to him out of
the dark and secret hiding-places of the past.
Few changes had been made in the aspect of the little village to
embarrass the picture which his recovered memory had submitted to him.
Some alterations in the external form of one or two shops, and two
freshly-built houses on the left-hand side facing the blacksmith’s
shed, were the only new features in the familiar scene of this quaint
broad thoroughfare.
His steps grew more reluctant, his face took a sharper expression of
pain, though never losing its characteristic of hardness and severity,
as he drew near to his old home. He forced himself forwards, and, when
abreast, halted and looked at it.
The windows were blindless, the garden showed signs of long neglect,
and a board nailed to a post leaned towards the road, bearing the
announcement, in painted letters, that the house was to let. A row
of cobwebs garnished the woodwork of the gate, and glistened in the
sunshine; the bare rooms, visible through the windows, looked cheerless
and inhospitable; the window-glass was dirty, and some of the panes
in the kitchen window were broken. The grass about the house was tall
and vividly green. That window, looking towards the trees between the
lanes, belonged to Dolly’s room. There were white soft curtains to it
in those days, and the glass was pure and transparent as spring-water.
That room on the left was the sitting-room. There they had taken their
meals; there they had played forfeits, had hunted the slipper, had
made the walls ring with innocent laughter. He remembered the old
grandmother’s placid smile, the rector’s kindly jokes, his Dolly’s
sweet face, throwing a light of purity and beauty about her. And under
the sill were the dead branches of the clematis, still held to the wall
by the pieces of black leather Dolly’s own hand had nailed. Such humble
signs make grief sharper than large memorials.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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