Her sweet sad face, as he continued speaking, had been slowly upturning
to his, and, when their eyes met, he put the little child upon the
floor and stretched out his arms, crying, “O Dolly! O wife!”
But she!
There was a look of petrifaction, stranger and more awful even than
death, upon her face; her eyes glared, her lips were parted: and to
have seen her thus stirless, thus white, thus staring, thus breathless,
you would have said that she was dead, even as she sat there.
Then the life leaped into her, she started from the sofa with a loud
hysterical laugh, and flung herself on her knees before him, crying,
“John! John!”
“Dolly!”
“John! John!” she repeated; and she brought his hand to her eyes,
and stared at it; and then grasped his knees and raised her face to
his, talking to herself in hurried, inaudible whispers, and fixing a
piercing gaze upon him.
“John! John!” she cried out again.
He put his arms around her, and would have pressed her to his heart,
but she kept herself away with her hand against his breast, preserving
that keen, unwinking, steadfast, wonderful gaze.
“Do you not know me, Dolly?” he cried. “Look at me closely; hear my
voice! hear me tell you of the old dear times! We were to meet in the
summer, do you remember, Dolly? and we were never more to part; and
you were to keep a calendar and mark off the days. O God! what weary
days--what endless days to both of us! And do you remember the walks we
took the day before we parted, down by the river, where I sat and cried
in your arms because the sight of your sorrow broke me down and I had
no more comfort to give you?”
But still she would not let him clasp her. Still she kept her hand
pressed against him, and her eyes, now growing wild and unreal with
fear, upon his face.
“O God!” he cried in his agony. “Will she not know me? Has my secret
come upon her too suddenly? Darling! darling! I could not see your
tears, I could not hear your sobs, I could not feel the desolation and
misery that was breaking your heart, and still keep myself hidden from
you. Oh, bitter has the trial been to watch you--to know you to be
mine--to see my little child--and to be as a stranger to you! Call me
John! Call me husband! Speak to me, Dolly! Tell me that no change that
pain and suffering have made in me can disguise me from your love!”
She released herself from his arms and sprang a yard away from him; and
there, as she stood transfixed, watching him with large, steady eyes,
her dishevelled hair about her forehead, her hands clenched, and her
head inclined forward, she looked like a marble figure of madness, her
habiliments carven to the life.
She had thought him dead. For many, many months she had prayed to him
as one in Heaven. Did she know him now? Yes, but as a dead man might be
known--with unspeakable fear and unspeakable love; with the horror of
superstition and the passion of deep affection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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