He stood there a moment alone silently watching the lamps of the town
sink away and vanish. His thought was all of Fannie. She was Fannie
Ravenel now. Fate had laughed at him. He calculated that the pair must
about this time be rising from supper on the boat.
"Happy bridegroom!--and happy bride!"
As the dark landscape perpetually spun away from him he began with an
inexperienced traveler's self-consciousness to think of the strangeness
of his own situation; but very soon Fannie's image came before him again
in a feverish mingling of gratitude and resentment. Had she not made his
life? But for her he might yet be teaching school in the hills of
Sandstone. No doubt he would have outgrown such work; but when? how
soon? how tardily? how fatally late? She had lured and fooled him; but
she had lured and fooled him into a largeness of purpose, a breadth of
being, which without her might never have come to him.
"I cannot be with her, I must not go near her; but I am here!" he
exclaimed, catching a certain elation from his unaccustomed speed. "The
prospect may be desert, but it's wide; it's wide!"
She had been good _for_ him, he mused, not to him. She had been wiser
than she meant; certainly she had not been kind. She was not
cold-hearted. His welfare was dear to her. And yet she had
cold-heartedly amused herself with him. She was light-minded. There! The
truth was out! Just what he meant by it was not so clear; but there it
was, half comforting him, half excusing her; she was light-minded! Well,
she was Fannie Ravenel now. "Happy Fannie Ravenel!" He said it with a
tempered bitterness and went in.
It was the sleeping-car he was on. Two steps brought him to the open
entrance of its smoking-room--they were enough. With drooping eyelids
its sole occupant was vacantly smiling at the failure of his little
finger to push the ash from a cold cigar.
"Jeff-Ja'!" exclaimed March, "O my Lord!"
The bridegroom looked up with a smart exaggeration of his usual cynicism
and said, "J--(h-h)--Johnnie, this 's 'n un'spec'--'spected pleasure!"
"I thought you were aboard the----" faltered John, and stood dumb,
gnawing his lip and burning with emotions.
"John, o' frien', take a chair." The speaker waved a hand in tipsy
graciousness. "What made you think I was aboard--I look like one?
Wha'--(h-h)--kind o' board--sideboard? S' down, John, make 'seff at
home. Happm have cars all t' ourselves. Mr. March, this 's ufforshnate,
ain't it? Don't y' sink so? One o' my p'culiar 'tacks. Come on 'tirely
since leavin' Suez. Have--(h-h)--seat. My dear frien', I know what
you're thinkin' 'bout. You're won'rin' where bride is an' feel del'cacy
'bout askin'. She's in state-room oth' end the car, locked in. She's not
'zactly locked in, but I'm locked out. Mrs. Ravenel is--(h-h)--annoyed
at this, Mr. March; ve'y mush annoyed."
He put on a frown. "John, 'll you do me a--(h-h)--favor?"
"I'm afraid I can't, Ravenel. I've a good notion to get off at the next
station."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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