I was sauntering along, chewing the cud of fancy, wholly bitter--and
sinking lower and lower every step in the slough of despond, working
over what would come if I should suddenly chuck up the whole business
and get out of life--pondering how I should destroy all marks by which
there could be any possibility of identification, when the current of my
thoughts, if that moody train of dismal reflection could be dignified
with such a name, was turned aside by a small incident. As I wandered on
in the darkness, the figure of a woman standing--a shadow in the
shadow--at a corner of an alley arrested my attention. Even in the gloom
the attitude of dejection was such as to strike me, and I saw or felt, I
know not which, that her eyes were on me, and that in some dim, distant
way they contained an appeal. I saw that she was young, and in the dusk
the oval outline of a face that might have both refinement and beauty
challenged my attention. Was she a beggar or only an unhappy outcast,
waiting in the darkness for the sad reward which evil chance might fling
to her wretchedness? I put my hand in my pocket, thinking that she might
beg of me, and I would give her a small portion of my slender store, but
she said nothing and I passed on. After a little, however, still
thinking of her dejected air and with a sudden sympathy for her
wretchedness, I turned back. She was still standing where I left her. I
passed slowly by her, but she said nothing, though I felt again that her
eyes were on me. Then my curiosity or possibly, I may say, my interest,
being aroused, I turned again and walked by her.
"Why so sad to-night?" I said, with words which might have appeared
flippant, but in a tone which she instantly recognized for sympathy. She
turned half away and said nothing and I stood silent watching her, for
her face must once have been almost beautiful, though it was now sadly
marred, and an ugly scar across her eye and cheek, as if it might have
come from the slash of a razor, made that side drawn and distorted.
"Do you want money?"
She slowly shook her head without looking at me.
"What is it, then? Maybe, I can help you?"
She turned slowly and looked at me with such indescribable hopelessness
in her face that my heart went out to her.
"No, I'm past help now."
"Oh, no, you're not." My spirits rose with the words, and I felt
suddenly as if I had risen out of the slough which had been engulfing
me, and as though I had gotten my feet on a firm place where I could
reach out a hand to help this despairing and sinking sister.
"Yes, past help now."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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