"I do believe it. Of course, I mean it." She stopped and looked me again
full in the face, and her eyes seemed to me to hold the depths of
Heaven: deep, calm, confiding, and untroubled as a child's. They stirred
me deeply. Why should I not declare myself! She was, since her father's
embarrassment, of which I had read, no longer beyond my reach. Did I
not hold the future in fee? Why might not I win her?
For some time we drifted along, talking about nothing of moment,
skirting the shore of the charmed unknown, deep within which lay the
mystery of that which we both possibly meant, however indefinitely, to
explore. Then we struck a little further in; and began to exchange
experiences--first our early impressions of John Marvel and Wolffert. It
was then that she told me of her coming to know John Marvel in the
country that night during the epidemic. She did not tell of her part in
the relief of the sick; but it was unnecessary. John Marvel had already
told me that. It was John himself, with his wonderful unselfishness and
gift of self-abnegation, of whom she spoke, and Wolffert with his ideal
ever kept in sight.
"What turned you to philanthropy?" I asked with a shade of irony in my
voice more marked than I had intended. If she was conscious of it she
took no notice of it beyond saying,
"If you mean the poor, pitiful little bit of work I do trying to help
Mr. Marvel and Mr. Wolffert among the poor--John Marvel did, and Mr.
Wolffert made the duty clear. They are the complement of each other, Jew
and Gentile, and if all men were like them there would be no divisions."
I expressed my wonder that she should have kept on, and not merely
contented herself with giving money or helping for that one occasion.
Sudden converts generally relapse.
"Oh! it was not any conversion. It gave life a new interest for me. I
was bored to death by the life I had been leading since I came out. It
was one continuous round of lunches, dinners, parties, dances, soirées,
till I felt as if I were a wooden steed in a merry-go-round, wound up
and wearing out. You see I had, in a way, always been 'out.' I used to
go about with my father, and sit at the table and hear him and his
friends--men friends--for I did not come to the table when ladies were
there, till I was fifteen--talk about all sorts of things, and though I
often did not understand them, I used to ask him and he would explain
them, and then I read up and worked to try to amuse him, so that when I
really came out, I found the set in which I was thrown rather young. It
was as if I had fallen through an opened door into a nursery. I was very
priggish, I have no doubt, but I was bored. Jim Canter and Milly McSheen
were amusing enough for a while, but really they were rather young. I
was fond of driving and dancing, but I did not want to talk about it all
the time, and then as I got older----"
"How old?" I demanded, amused at her idea of age.
"Why, eighteen. How old do you think I should have been?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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