"Listen to me," I interrupted firmly. "I have not asked you for
anything; I have not asked your permission; I am not a friend of yours
and I shall never be that. I don't want to be your friend. I love you,
and I am going to win your love. Now you can go. Come on."
We walked on and I saw her safely home. We talked about everything and I
told her much of myself. But she was plainly thinking not about what I
was saying then, but what I had said on the dusty steps. When we reached
her home, I saved her embarrassment. I held out my hand and said,
"Good-by, I love you."
No woman can quite let a man go, at least, no woman with a woman's
coquetry can. After I had turned away, what must Eleanor Leigh do but
say demurely, "I hope you will win your case." I turned back, of course.
"I will," I said, "in both courts." Then I strode away. I went home
feeling somewhat as a man might who, after shipwreck, had reached an
unknown shore. I was in a new land and knew not where I stood or how; or
whether the issue would be life or death. I only knew that I had passed
a crisis in my life and whatever came I must meet it. I was strangely
happy, yet I had had no word of encouragement.
To have declared one's love has this in it, that henceforth the one you
love can never be wholly indifferent to you. I went home feeling that I
had acquired a new relation to Eleanor Leigh and that somehow I had a
right to her whether she consented or not. My love for her, as ardent as
it had been before, had suddenly deepened. It had, in a way, also become
purer. I went over and over and dwelt on every word she had ever uttered
to me, every gentle look I had ever seen her give, every tender
expression that had illumined her face or softened her eyes, and I found
myself thinking of her character as I had never done before. I planned
how I should meet her next and tried to fancy how she would look and
what she would say. I wondered vaguely what she would think of me when
she reached her room and thought over what I had said. But I soon left
this realm of vague conjecture for the clearly defined elysium of my own
love. Had I known what I learned only a long time afterward--how she
acted and what she thought of on reaching home, I might have been
somewhat consoled though still mystified.
XXVI
COLL McSHEEN'S METHODS
It is astonishing what a motive power love is. With Eleanor Leigh in my
heart, I went to work on my Tipps case with fury.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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