She felt the candor of his speech and replied in like kind, smiling
slowly. "No use my lying," she said. "You know I'm not happy. And,
yes, I know you'll not talk. Who _is_ happy? We all just get on just
the best we can. I can take my joy in making other women envy me.
Isn't that about what all women want? Isn't that the height and limit
of their ambition? Isn't that success, so far as a woman is concerned?
Don't they cling to it, all of them--till they get old? I suppose so,
but I know it isn't happiness. Yes, I'll admit to you I do miss
something." His eyes rested upon her, searching.
Unconsciously she looked down at her wrists. The red mark of his
fingers still lingered there. "I'll have to ask Ann Sullivan some
time," she laughed.
"One thing," answered Halsey. "She'd tell you that she isn't trying to
get the envy of her neighbors. I don't believe she'd be happy in that!"
"Oh, but she's fresh over--she's not American yet, don't you see? She
hasn't had a chance--you can't tell what she would do if she were rich."
IV
"There are two ways of looking at it," said Halsey musingly, his anger
passing, now leaving him meditative, relaxed. They were talking now as
though there were not two others, unhappy, waiting on the gallery near
by. "I'll tell you something, if you'll let me talk about myself, Mrs.
Rawn."
"Go on; I'm glad!"
"I don't suppose you care for things that interest me. You called me a
Socialist. I'll admit that I studied a lot about that, attended their
meetings, all that sort of thing. Maybe that made me think. It seems
to me that money is rolling up too fast in this country now--we're all
mad about money. It's like the big apple with no taste to it. I had
it offered me to choose between those two, and I took the little apple
that to me seemed sweeter.
"Now, I've perfected that invention. It'll make somebody rich any time
I say the word--any time I like that big apple and not the little
one--any time I like that success which comes from outside and not from
inside. But I've figured that that doesn't mean happiness. Maybe I'm
wrong. I don't know. Somehow I believe that Abraham Lincoln, or John
Ruskin, or Jim Sullivan, or Tim, or Ann, or Sir Isaac Newton--any
thinking person--any philosopher--would come in with me about this. I
broke up the machines."
"Why--where it meant ruin?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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