John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
WITH Thursday morning came an east wind: it was moderate, at first, but
freshened up, and blew positively strong; the sky became heavily
overcast with clouds, the rain fell—so did the mercury in the
barometer—and there was every indication of an easterly gale.
Still, as night came on, and it had not yet amounted to a gale, the ship
was kept running before the wind under her three lower top-sails, and we
made pretty good time toward New York.
I retired that night not quite at ease, but still sufficiently so to
rest well; and as the vessel was kept before the wind all night, and did
not rock much, I didn’t tumble out of my berth, as one may reasonably
expect to do when the vessel rolls heavily.
I am not in the habit of paying any attention to dreams, or of relating
them; but one that visited me that night was so inexpressibly ludicrous,
that I must “out with it.”
I dreamed that I, in company with a very black African, armed with an
axe, was in a deep, thick wood in California, looking for a pole to make
sled-soles of, when a big bear made his appearance, and immediately
“went for” us. The darkey dropped the axe, sprung upon a stump near by,
and squatted on the top of it, trembling with terror; but I, not being
in a condition to retreat with speed, caught up the axe, threw down my
crutch, balanced myself on my foot, and as the bear came on and reared
up to hug me to death, I aimed a blow at his head. But it missed his
head and cut off one of his fore-paws—a bear has _four_ of them, you
know—the blood spurting forth from the stump, in a way that was quite
gratifying to me. He was not placed _hors du combat_, however, but
persisted in his attack on me with extraordinary vigor. I aimed another
blow at the seat of his intellect; but, singularly enough, missed it
again, and cut off the other fore-paw. As I did so, the axe flew from my
hands, and fell at the foot of a big tree, thirty feet distant. The
bear, not yet discomfitted, growled savagely, showed his teeth, and came
dancing at me, holding up his bloody stumps, as though still determined,
even with them, to crush me. Finding myself unarmed, and without so much
leisure time as to pick up my crutch, I turned about and made a hop
toward the stump on which the darkey sat. The bear hopped after me. I
had thought of climbing up on the stump, but the frightened darkey
occupied all the space there; so I just kept on retreating round the
stump, hopping as fast as I could, and close at my heel came the bloody
bear, hopping, too, as fast as _he_ could.
The whole picture, with the scared nigger on the stump in the
center,—his thick lips mumbling unintelligible words of fright, and his
white eyes starting out so that they could have been knocked off with a
club, without touching his flat nose—was so unprecedentedly ludicrous,
that terrified, as I fancied I was, I laughed outright, in the very
midst of my visionary peril; and so awoke.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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