John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
THE POPULATION was fifty-six thousand in 1860, according to the National
Census, but it is now _three times_ as great. It is, of course, composed
of people from all parts of the world, but chiefly from the United
States. A large proportion of the population are the Chinese. These
people are small in stature, yellow in color, pagan in religion,
ingenious, industrious, inoffensive, cowardly, low-lived, filthy, and
ugly as toads—creatures to which they bear a striking family
resemblance. They work at any and every thing, many of them doing
housework, washing and ironing, and the like. I remember seeing the
following names of “Orientals” on their business signs: Wo Hop, Hung
Gee, Cum Lum Sam, Sam Lee, Wo Lee, Wo Wing, Ah Sing, Wing Wo, Yek Wa.
These distinguished gentlemen from the Orient, (or rather, to one in
California, from the Occident) were all extensively engaged in the
laundry business. There are but few negroes in San Francisco. I do not
think I saw a dozen while there.
THE MONEY in circulation in the “Golden City” is only silver and gold.
No paper money of any kind is seen.
EARTHQUAKES are a luxury which this city indulges in occasionally. We
had one gentle shock while I was there. A few years ago they were
favored with one that did much damage, and scared many of the
inhabitants out of a year’s growth: and in October, 1868, they had one
still more severe. Slight shocks are quite common.
San Francisco is one of the greatest fruit, vegetable, and grain markets
in the world.
During my sojourn in San Francisco, I was employed as “Funny Man” of a
well-known literary paper, the “GOLDEN CITY;” and shortly after my
arrival I published an article, under a _nom de plume_, in which I
touched up some of the peculiarities of the city as they presented
themselves to me, in the following manner:
“CAT’S-EYE VIEW OF SAN FRANCISCO. BY O. JOB JONES.
“One morning, shortly after my arrival in San Francisco, I strolled out
to take a view of the city as it was and is—the clerk of my hotel having
kindly informed me that it was ‘piled up all around us.’
“I first directed my steps to the post-office, where, making my way up
to the ‘J’ window, I modestly inquired if there was any letter for O.
Job Jones? The clerk without looking, informed me that there wasn’t.
Wondering how he found it out, I asked if there were any newspapers?
Yes, wrong as it was to annoy him with so many foolish questions, I
did.”
“What was his reply?
“I will tell you.
“The truth of the matter was, the steamer hadn’t been in more than
twenty-four hours, and the papers had not yet been distributed. This the
clerk _might_ have informed me, in calm, gentlemanly and comprehensive
language: but, did he? No. Such a course would have been inconsistent
with his dignity. Here’s the way he answered me; he says—and that in a
rude tone that startled me—says he:
“‘YOU’D BETTER WAIT TILL THEY’RE DISTRIBUTED FIRST, HADN’T YOU!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account